10 Wifely Attitudes that can Destroy a Marriage

Are you a know-it-all and like snapping “I told you so!” to your husband?  Find out how this attitude and several others can be harmful to a marriage.  Check yourself before it’s too late. 

• The Mother Superior.
She makes the rules and knows just about everything!  She dictates what activities to do, which shows to watch, even the clothes her husband should wear. She gets irritated when things don’t go her way, and likes the line “I told you so.”  This attitude can make the husband feel like he is not needed and affect his self-worth.
• Mrs. Fix-It.  She wants things a certain way and fixes them when they aren’t – including her husband’s habits, her kids’ appearance and preferences.  She often nags her husband to change and wants immediate results.  Accepting personal differences are way out of her league! No matter how much husbands love their wives, no one can ever fix anyone.  It is the husband’s personal decision to do the change.
• Mother Reincarnate. She sounds like his mother and treats her husband like a little child by giving constant reminders to take his medicine, put his shoes back on the rack, be home on time, etc.  Remember that your husband is an adult, and should be treated accordingly.  Acting like his mother would make him dependent on you or deplete his ego.  Couples are called to be partners and not to fulfill left-over duties by their parents. 
• I’m-Too-Tired-For-SEX!  She evades intimacy everytime, making the husband feel unwanted.  Note that the husband needs sexual intimacy as it is their expression of love.  Thus, it is best to put lovemaking on the day’s to-do list and condition yourself to play the role of wife when the husband comes home from work. 
• Super Mom Complex.   There is no harm on being a hands-on mom, but must you do everything yourself?  Give your husband some credit and allow him truly be a part of the family by giving him tasks.  He will thank you for it. 

Click next to read more about the wifely attitudes that can wreck a marriage.

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• Pity Old Me.  “I overcooked the pasta and I feel awful!”  She thinks lowly of herself and seeks constant approval. No matter how much she’s assured by her husband, she pities herself and tends to use the sympathetic emotions to her advantage.  While it is important for husband to keep reassuring the wife, it can be a draining exercise and lead to resentment.
• The Talk Show Host.  She has a say in very issue in and out of her home.  She makes other people’s business her business. Such wives often have a low self-esteem, and her criticisms are merely projections of her insecurities.  At the end of a tiring day, a husband would want peace and a happy company, not a rundown of other people’s lives.  Channel your energies into something more productive instead, like giving the husband a massage or a backrub.
• Mrs. Messianic.  She does everything in the name of sacrifice! She puts the needs of her husband and kids before her own.  She has lost her identity because she has allowed her age, childbearing and stress whisk it away.  She thought that putting her own needs on the backseat will be good for her marriage, only to realize how unattractive she has become in the eyes of her husband and other people.  In order to be a better wife and mother, caring for your needs and our own being will make you a more caring person!
• The Bratty Wifey.   She cares more for herself and does not consider husband’s thoughts and feelings.  She would throw a tantrum when she does not get her way, threaten to leave when husband couldn’t fulfill her whims.  Self-centeredness weakens a relationship, and soon enough, a husband will get tired for giving in to someone who does not give back.  
• Buy This, Swipe That.  She loves to spend on designer bags, branded clothes, the latest toys and gadgets or even eat out at expensive restos.  Yet, she overlooks other important matters like the children’s vaccines, tuition fees, and piling credit card debts.  She finds it hard to curb her spending habits and mismanages the family’s finances.  

If you think you are one of the above, or a combination of several characteristics, get your act together before it is too late. Talk to your husband, seek help or counseling, and vow to improve.   A relationship with unresolved issues is like a whistling teapot – it will heat up silently but will whistle loudly when it reaches its boiling point!  Take heed and see your married life improve.  Change starts with you.

Michele Alignay is a registered guidance counselor.  She is the Associate Counselor and a Parenting-Relationship Consultant at the Love Institute. 

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