7 Steps to Help Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

It has never been easy for anybody to accept the death of a loved one. The period of mourning for those who were left behind has no boundaries. There is no definite time as to how long the healing process would last. And while acceptance may eventually come later, coping with such a loss is an entirely different story, especially when children are among those who are left behind.

When death happens in the family, children lose a figure on which their sense of security is anchored.  The absence of such significant people in their lives may make them feel lost and threatened, so how would one prepare a child if it’s the parent who meets an untimely death?

The following steps are encouraged to assist children to cope with the loss of a parent or a loved one:

1.    Allow them to grieve.
Allowing the child to cry is a helpful way to express his or her emotions and to vent out any feeling she is harboring inside.

Grieving may come in different forms.  While crying is the most common, it may also be expressed through a shift in the child’s behavior.


2.    Encourage them to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
The closer the child was to the deceased, the more difficult the healing process will be and the longer it may take.  A close family member should reach out to the child and encourage conversation, which could help release melancholic emotions.


3.    Use stories and examples to explain the concept  of death to them and end it on a hopeful note.
Stories may be used to explain the experience to a child.  This will aid her in understanding that others, too, experience loss but are able to live through the pain or hurt it might have caused them.  


4.    Help them find ways on how to channel their emotions and thoughts positively.
Be observant and find out what the child’s interests are. Use this information to help the child channel her unpleasant experience and get her focus on things that bring her comfort and tranquility.

Click here to see more steps on how to help your child cope with the loss of a loved one.

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Read on to see more steps on how to help your child cope with the loss of a loved one.

5.    Continue with their daily routine to make them see that things should go on the way they used to be.
Sticking to a daily routine helps keep a child’s life achieve a sense of normalcy. An additional change in a child’s routine apart from a family member’s death may cause a child to be more disoriented or confused why such things are happening.


6.    Do not give them false hopes as to the person’s return.
The passing away of a loved one is permanent and the idea must be established truthfully.


7.    If necessary, let the child talk to a professional for proper guidance.
An adult coping with a loss may also be undergoing some issues that need to be resolved. If you are in doubt whether you can give the child guidance, it is best to consult with a professional.

The author is a preschool teacher at Miriam College, where she is also taking up her Masters in Childhood Education.


Photo from sxc.hu