We conclude our series of articles about real moms and their sex lives with this piece on how sex actually gets better over time. For the other articles in the series, please check out these links: How Often is Enough, Vaginal Dryness, High Expectations and Stress and Its Effect on Libido.
Sex DOES Improve Over Time With Married Couples
Not everything is Doom and Gloom. Some women we interviewed said that they were actually enjoying sex more now. “I’m more comfortable saying what I want, and not feeling dyahe,” says Cora, a legal secretary. “Plus after many years, my husband and I know more about each other and are more honest with each other.”
“When I turned 35, I started going to the gym,” recounts Mitzi, a professional chef. “It was my birthday gift to myself to make myself feel and look young even when the clock was ticking. As I lost weight, not that I was super thin but I felt good about the way I looked, my interest in sex increased. And mas flexible na ako ngayon!”
Patricia noticed that her sex life also improved soon after she and her husband survived a marital problem. “I think it reinforced the fact that we loved each other and wanted to work things out. The problem wasn’t completely solved, but the commitment was more solid. I think that brought us closer together and our sex life reflected that.”
Click here to read more about how real moms' sex lives can improve over time and intimate alternatives.
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Like Wine, It Ripens With Age
“Women tend to be more aggressive as they reach near-menopause,” observes Dr. Eddie Concepcion, a medical doctor, acupuncturist and family man who has been married for 23 years. “They become more interested, more exploratory and more aware of their orgasms.” Also, as married couples adapt to their environments and situations, there is more time and less stress. This becomes an opportunity to rekindle their passions. Since couples have had more experience with sex with each other, they become more aware of what pleases their partners. “The key is to recognize each others needs and learn how to fulfill them,” he explains. “But men have to be told what their women want – and not just once but lots of times. They can’t be left guessing.”
Intimate Alternatives
Sex is an expression of love and affection for a couple. But it isn’t necessarily the only avenue. It’s important to determine whether you and your partner are happy with each other. There will be times when sex might not appeal to either of you because of work, family concerns or other domestic issues. That doesn’t mean you don’t love each other or that you are no longer interested in each other sexually. It’s true that sexual interest may wax and wane, depending on how things are going for both of you. You both won’t lack for romance if both of you regularly practice intimacy. Try cuddling, snuggling, little love notes, hugging, holding hands, romantic walks, dancing and doing household chores together*. Intimacy makes the biggest difference when it comes to a couple’s sex life.
*A study from the Council of Contemporary Families in Washington showed that couples who shared household chores together had more sex. Maybe it’s time to teach him how to do the laundry. Hey, I do the laundry.
Read more articles about Moms and Their Sex Lives:
- How Often is Normal?
- Dry All the Time or Atrophic Vaginitis
- Stress and Harried Woman’s Syndrome
- Fear of High Expectations
Photo from sxc.hu
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