Real Moms and Their Sex Lives: Stress and Harried Woman’s Syndrome

This article is part of an ongoing series about real moms and their sex lives.  Take a look at what our interviewees have to say about how often is normal, vaginal dryness, and fear of high expectations. Below, we deal with stress and how it affects real moms’ sex lives.

 

Stress and How it Affects Libido and Real Moms’ Sex Lives

This litany sounds familiar—‘I’m too tired to have sex.’  ‘I go through the motions but it doesn’t excite me as much.’ ‘I don’t know why but I just can’t get into it even if I love my husband very much.’  ‘It’s weird but my mind actually drifts in the middle of sex.  I start to think about what I need to do at work or I just blank out…’

Harried moms complained that their sex lives suffered significantly while they were under stress. It’s not just physical exhaustion, but a general malaise or lethargy.  This becomes a particularly difficult problem when the stress extends over a long period of time.  In a normal stress cycle, there are peaks (cramming for a presentation, baby sick with diarrhea, etc.), but these subside and return to normal levels to allow body and mind to recover before the next one.

But some moms often suffer from Hurried Woman’s Syndrome (HWS) where stress levels are mild-to-average but never subside. They go from task to task, problem to problem, never really recovering. This drains their physical and emotional energy levels significantly, including their libido, but since they don’t encounter bigger crises, they think they’re okay.

The symptoms of HWS are loss of interest in activities that normally interest them, irritability, depression, difficulty concentrating, fatigue even after a night’s sleep, sudden changes in appetite and low sex drive.

 

Click here to read on about how to deal with the Harried Woman's Syndrome.

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How to Deal with Harried Woman’s Syndrome

Chronic stress of this kind inflicts long-term effects on the body and the psyche. "Any woman who exhibits HWS should see her doctor for a thorough check-up, but she also needs to examine her lifestyle," says Dr. Avdesh Sharma, Director of the Parivartan Center For Mental Health, Hauz Khas, New Delhi.

Dr. Sharma says that women are so adept at multi-tasking that they keep doing it without even realizing the damage it is causing them. "Stop being a superwoman," he tells his patients. "Stop being in high gear, 24/7. Accept your limitations," Dr Sharma often advises his patients. “Besides,” he says, “women need to learn to say no.  Tell your husbands that they need to help out with the dishes; don't do anything during your coffee break; exercise a bit and get off that drastic diet," he tells his patients.

 

Read more articles about Moms and Their Sex Lives:

• How Often is Normal?
• Dry All the Time or Atrophic Vaginitis
• Fear of High Expectations
• Improvement Over Time & Intimate Alternatives

 

Photo from flickr.com