The Priceless Joys of Fatherhood

I have come to the realization that I want, above all else, to be remembered as an awesome father. It matters little to me now if I miss out on a few of my personal dreams and ambitions … fatherhood is so fulfilling for me that it supersedes everything else. I know it might sound like a cop out or an excuse to underachieve, but fatherhood has been ennobling, humbling, rewarding, and ultimately gave my life a kind of meaning I hadn't found in anything else.

I'm lucky, first of all. I have a job that allows me to work from home, enabling me to spend as much time as possible raising my two daughters. I realize that these days, fathers miss out on a lot of their children's childhood because work keeps them away. The same could be said for a lot of mothers, as well. It’s an unpalatable necessity in this economy. In this way, my wife and I are blessed. So far, we've managed to scrape by on modest earnings without having to spend time away from our children. Given the demands of a growing family, the option of applying for a full-time job enters our conversations now and again but always fails to stack up against our desire to be hands-on parents.

 

Parenting is a Full-Time Job for Moms… and Dads

The truth is, parenting is a full-time job. Most parents manage to share the load by having helpers or relatives take care of the kids while they're away at work. I realized, watching my young daughters grow up, that I would be missing a lot if ever I rejoined the rat race. It doesn't seem worth it to me. I don't want to miss a thing. I believe that many fathers are cheated out of fatherhood because the help usually takes care of the seemingly minor duties of bottle feeding, diaper changing, and even bathing. Don't let it happen. Spend whatever little time you have outside work with your children. You won't regret it.

The phrase, "they grow up so fast" isn't an exaggeration, it's a harsh truth spoken by parents who wish they could spend more time with their kids at a certain age. As much as I look forward to certain milestones—crawling, walking, talking—it also means saying goodbye to a different stage. The thought that one day my daughters will be too old and too big for me to carry while they rest their heads on my shoulder breaks my heart, so I'm enjoying it while I can.

 

Click here to read more about the priceless joys of fatherhood for Kensai Yonzon.

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The Priceless Joys of Fatherhood

Fatherhood has been the most remarkable experience of my life. I've come to view it as a privilege rather than merely a responsibility, a blessing rather than a burden. Seeing human life develop and grow firsthand is simply amazing. It comes with its own set of challenges, naturally, but however frustrating raising a child can sometimes be (and trust me, it will get frustrating at some points), it is outweighed by all the great and beautiful moments. And there will be many, many moments, not just limited to the stereotypical Kodak ones of first steps or words. It is in the little things, such as cradling them to sleep in your arms, or listening to them crack what they think is a joke. It's in seeing them smile, or hearing them laugh, or even having to comfort them when they hurt themselves.

Fatherhood is an emotional investment. It has to be. At least, that's the only way I think it can be worth doing. I've too often heard of fathers who have lapsed into the role of mere provider, whose sole duty is to make sure there's food on the table and a roof over everyone's heads. It's certainly part of our bag, but is far from being the only role we have to play. While mentoring our children is part of the deal, ironically one of our finest roles as a father is that of an eternal student. I think I've learned more about myself and about humanity in my short time being a father than I have in all my life before then.

 

What I Learned From my Daughters

My daughters have taught me patience, responsibility (or a small measure thereof …), and made me realize my capacity to care for another human being. I don't think I've ever adored as much as I ever have before my daughters came into my life excepting my wife. Being a father is a study in irony because as much as you are in control of another person's life or well-being, you are equally in their thrall. It is also humbling because you realize that being a father means playing a supporting role to the mother.

 

Click here to read more about the priceless joys of fatherhood for Kensai Yonzon.
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Restoration of Faith and Wonder

It changed me. I don't think I've ever been as concerned about another person—my wife calls it paranoia—as I am about my daughters. For one thing, I often check on them while they sleep just to see if they're breathing. I don't share the overprotective bent of Marlin from Finding Nemo, but I would cross oceans for my daughters. Sharing experiences with your children is a truly amazing thing. Watching movies with them, or seeing fireworks together, or dancing … my appreciation for the world around me has doubled, in part because I see my daughters' wonder in it. Children see the world in a completely different way, unblemished by cynicism or skepticism. It's true that innocence lost can never be regained, but faith can be restored. If anything, my daughters have restored my faith in a good many things.

I believe that there are few things more wondrous than being witness to life as it grows. It's magical. It happens all around us, parents raising their children, that there's the danger of dismissing it as mundane. It's anything but. It's hard to describe exactly what it is I find so wonderful about fatherhood. It's a lot of things, certainly, but nothing has been as profoundly insightful into the human experience as when I am with my children and raising them.

 

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