Dads in the Labor Room

Natt Intrineo

Husband to Jo, father to Adam, 5 years old and Nicki, 2 years old

"Finding a hospital that allows the father in both the labor and delivery rooms is not a problem here in the US as it is widely practiced. I got to be present on the birth of my 2 sons. Though excited, I felt very helpless seeing my wife suffer during her long labor but I knew I had to be there if it's the best and only thing I can do for her at that moment. I tried getting myself involved during labor (like it would help) by asking the nurse about her medicines, what it is, what it's for, how to read the monitor, what I should watch out for, etc. Maybe it was my way of de-stressing and, in a way, diverting her attention from the pain even for just a few seconds. During delivery, she was trembling due to the anesthesia so I just held her hand for support and let the doctors do their job. My wife knows me to be a very relaxed person - I seldom panic or over-react, and really, there was no need to. I knew my wife was in good hands."

Francis Villanada

 Partner to Aileen Elizalde, father to Farris Ethan, 3 years old

"My partner and I attended Lamaze classes under Chiqui Brosas-Hahn because she wanted to have a natural birth, which is also why we went to Manila Doctor's Hospital – they have a Lamaze room where the male partner is allowed during labor. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. Due to fetal bradycardia, an emergency Caesarean section had to be performed on my wife. 

While being transferred to the operating room, I was asked to sign a waiver. I remember that we were taught in our Lamaze class to 'always ask, because you have a say in what the OB would do to you/your wife', thus I was always asking the assistants 'teka,, saan niyo siya dadalhin?', 'ano ito?', 'Hindi pwede yan.', to the surprise of my partner. When the baby came out, the OB-Gyn was kind enough to involve me by making me cut the umbilical cord which isn't a common practice there. I nervously smiled as my hands trembled in cutting the cord, then I quickly followed the baby to the neonatal ICU. That made my partner feel abandoned and confronted me afterwards.

"How can you leave me there alone?''I need to be with the baby. He might get accidentally traded with another.''That's what you get for watching too many teleseryes''I'm serious. All babies look the same at birth and I need to make sure he won't get switched.'

Witnessing my baby's birth is what keeps pushing me to be a good father to my son. Soon we'll make him witness his mom and dad's wedding."

 

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Mike Uy

Husband to Chit, and father to Luke, 5 years old, and Jake, 2 years old

"We thought we wouldn’t make it to the hospital on time. Driving from Qezon City to U.N. Avenue in Manila on a weekday seemed to take forever and I was never as tense and impatient of the traffic. On the other hand, even if my wife's contractions were 5 minutes apart, she still looked relaxed. It was her idea that I be with her during her labor, because she felt that my presence would make her brave and strong, unlike her experience with our first child when she had to go through it alone. I supported her on this idea. Lamaze class and review with Ms. Rome Kanapi helped us a lot and I kept reminding her of what we learned. Strangely, I knew somehow that I'd be more relaxed being with her during labor than staying outside and being in the dark of what’s happening. I wanted to be with her throughout the entire process but she had to undergo a Ceasarean section and husbands aren't allowed in the operating room. Still, I'm thankful for the safe delivery. 

I can't really say that the close bond I have now with my sons is because of my presence at their birth - it is undoubtedly one of the factors though. I think it's the continuous love starting from pregnancy that makes our love stronger. The birth of our sons will definitely be a part of our lives, a story we'll definitely share with them soon. My wife is now on her 17th week of pregnancy. If VBAC will be allowed, I'd want to be there throughout the experience."  

Richard Cortes

Husband to Weng and father to Rain, 6 years old, and Ruchira, 2 years old

"I was with my wife when she was in labor with our youngest. To divert her attention away from the pain, I would try making her laugh, and she'd give me an angry look, as if to say that with the pain she was feeling, she doesn’t find anything I say funny. During delivery, I felt like passing on a bit of my strength to help her push. I was so worried that my hands got all sweaty and I kept dropping the cellphone and the camera, and I couldn’t keep thinking of the worst scenario - what if the baby lost a part of its body? What if my wife's veins gave out? When I heard my baby's first cry, it was a great relief that lifted all the tension that was weighing down on me. I know the great ordeal my wife went through so I wanted to give her what she wanted. 

After that experience, I became more understanding about birth and all. I now feel more compassionate about mothers and children, especially those I see on the streets. I'm glad I was there to see our baby's birth and next time, I want a piece of the action by aiding the delivery and catching the baby myself."

 

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Sydney Li

Husband to Marie and father to Ocean, 6 years old 

"I was with my wife for about 12 hours while she was in labor. I just couldn’t leave her alone, and luckily, the hospital staff allowed it (not during the delivery though). I was more excited than tensed to finally see our baby girl. My wife was crying most of the time and I felt sorry for her. She is normally highly tolerable of pain, so I knew that this meant she was already extremely suffering. It didn’t help that the resident doctors took 10 attempts to place an I.V. on her, my wife having very thin veins. I just held her hand, ready to do anything that would keep her spirits high. I kept encouraging her by saying, 'Kaya mo yan.', 'Matatapos din yan.' 'Sigurado magiging maganda  din baby natin katulad mo.'. Being there to give my support during a difficult time is something that's good to remember. It gives us a reason to fall back in love with each other again, especially during those times when we argue." 

Jed Zosa 

Husband to Angel and father to Nathaniel Josiah

"My wife and I came to a mutual decision that I should be there when she gives birth, so we scouted for hospitals that allowed this set-up. Through the SP forums, we luckily found one. 

When I think of delivery rooms, I imagine that they would be like they are in the movies, and I would wonder if I can endure the screaming and the sight of a baby being born (which I knew then isn't pretty). Even with these thoughts, I couldn’t panic since I had to be strong for my wife. Eventually they had to do a CS operation on my wife, since my baby was too big, and they let me wear a scrub suit before entering the operating room. For a moment I was stunned looking at my wife's internal organs, then I saw the baby in the placenta. The doctor ruptured it and out came the baby, I was speechless. I couldn't process anything, not my wife's voice, nor the doctor signaling me to start taking pictures. I just stood there grasping my wife's hand so it was the anesthesiologist who got the camera and took shots. It was my son's first cry that made me snap back. All my dark thoughts about the blood, the pain, and the screaming just melted away when I held my son for the first time. It was a moment I would not have missed for anything."

 

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William de Guia

Husband to Marycris, and father to Geno Edward, 2 years old

"There was no question about it, I wanted to be with my wife while she gives birth. I felt nervous, excited, scared and worried about the pain she'll go through. Even now, I am in awe of how a normal baby delivery takes place, it's just wonderful. Once the head is out, everything else follows. I admire my wife for getting through all of it, and I tell her that not even I can endure that same level of pain. 

The day after she gave birth she asked me from where I got the scratches and pierced wound on my hand. 'Nadiinan yan ng kuko mo kagabi nung nakakapit ka sa akin.' I love my wife and my son whom I witnessed coming out into the world. I'm glad I didn't leave my wife's side."

Mani Gloria

 Husband to Fe and father to Fay Catherine and Alan Manuel, now both grown-ups

"Being a daddy doesn't start when he first gets hold of his baby – it begins while the baby is still inside the mommy's tummy. I remember that I would rest my head on my wife's belly and talk to our baby about my interest, environmental concerns, math and science. I knew she could already recognize voices. I wanted to have a hand in bringing her into this world so we interviewed OB-Gynes and opted for doctors who would allow me in the delivery room, since I wanted to be the one to cut the cord myself. We were then in Belgium, it was 1976, long before daddy participation in birth rooms became a trend. As an Engineer, I even asked the Doctor the exact length in metric unit I have to cut from the baby's navel. The Doctor gave a hearty laugh and answered '5 centimeters' in Dutch. 

Our second baby was born at St. Claire's Hospital in Makati 6 hours past the eve of new year, and we had to cut short our doctor's champagne merriment to summon him to the hospital. The delivery was getting diffucult. The baby was increasingly in distress because of the cord tightening around its neck. The doctor said she might have to do a Caesarean operation and I was asked to leave the room. I insisted on staying, wanting to be there the moment the baby comes. My wife refused a C Section and the doctor was able to unwind the cord and got to deliver the baby normally. Again I got to cut the cord with pride. I am grateful to have been given a hand in bringing my children to the world.” 

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Danvee Dy

Husband to Ma-am and father to Gabriel, 8 years old, and Danna Margaret, 2 years old

"On my wife's 2nd pregnancy, she had false labor so we were sent home from the hospital, but instead we went malling and watched Transformers. While my son and I were enjoying the film, my wife was already in tears keeping her pain to herself as she didn't want to spoil our fun. Back in the hospital they finally admitted her. When the doctor was about to deliver the baby, I was ready with my camera, but then suddenly the baby's heartbeat stopped and they needed to do an emergency C-Section on my wife. She had Abruptio Placenta, which is a life-threatening condition. The scenes that followed made my knees weak; I was so nervous seeing my wife undergo the operation. When finally the Doctor called me to take pictures, it was like my hands were moving by themselves because my mind was on my baby daughter. I was so relieved when I heard her first cry that I could not contain my tears."

Atty. Martin Ortiz

Husband to Frances and father to Kilio Cximara, 1 year old

"It was both my wife’s and my idea that I be with her during her delivery. Though I wasn't allowed in the labor room, the doctor said that it was her practice to let daddies be with the mommies during the delivery. I might even get the chance to cut the umbilical cord and this made me excited even more. She labored for more than 24 hours and I couldn’t sleep or leave the room, afraid that I might miss 'the' moment. When they finally called me into the delivery room, excitement and fear dawned on me. I was excited to see my baby but I also feared the unexpected. I feared for my wife’s health, and whether she could go through the whole ordeal safely. I feared that something bad might happen to our baby. 

When I heard our doctor say that our baby was out and I heard her gasping for breath and make tiny crying sounds, I knew everything would be well. I cannot remember a time in my life when I felt this happy. Fortunately all the excitement, fear, and happiness did not get the best of me and make me go into a tailspin and faint. I would never have forgiven myself if I missed a second of it. This baby is my flesh and blood and I could proudly say that I was there when she was ushered into this world. Not many fathers could lay the same claim."