'My Husband Told His Boss He Was Open to a One-Night Stand'
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  • Motherhood can be a lonely job, made worse by doubts a mom has about her parenting skills. She knows there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but it doesn't give her solace when she makes mistakes. 

    What has helped many of our moms is having a community who listens and who gives voice to her joy AND her fears and pain. She isn't always looking for answers — sometimes, it's about crying and screaming at the top of her lungs without judgment. 

    We call it an #SPconfession.

    Infidelity is a deal breaker for many relationships whether you are just a couple, are married, or have kids. When a partner is caught cheating in any form, you are pushed onto a rollercoaster of emotions — anger, despair, shame, self-doubt, and most of all, pain like you’ve never felt before.

    But after you’ve been cheated on, is it possible to move on and trust your partner again? It’s the desperate question of one of our readers who shares her story for our #SPconfession (scroll below for the English translation).

    I’m the type of wife na hindi selosa at maduda kay hubby. While I was pregnant, my husband would constantly message his manager on Viber. Kapag hinihiram ko ang phone ni hubby at may new message si girl, I will open and read their conversation, pero wala akong makitang malisya, kahit pa merong sweet lines si hubby or sinabi niyang ‘trip niya si boss.’ I though biruan lang ‘yun. Meron din silang pictures together sa phone ni hubby pero hindi ako nagduda. Married din kasi itong si manager.

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    Same call center company kami ni hubby but different accounts and shifts. Hubby is team lead, kaya I thought ok lang na close sila since sila ang madalas magkausap sa team nila. Madalas silang bumaba together para mag-yosi at nasasalubong ko pa kapag napaaga ang pasok ko sa office.

    When I was 7 months pregnant, I heard from a friend na guys usually cheat ‘pag pregnant ang wife. Naisipan ko lang na i-browse ‘yung company email account ni hubby, kasi same ang password namin.

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    Sa sent mails, nakita ko kung gaano ka-sweet si hubby sa boss niya, which started during my first month of pregnancy. Nabasa ko rin ‘yung pag-amin niya ng feelings.

    Ang pinakamasakit, gusto niya ng one-night stand with his boss.

    I confronted him at umamin siya at nag-sorry. But he never explained why he did or said those things to her. I cried really hard but natakot at the same time kasi baka makaapekto kay baby. Nag-promise naman siya na iiwas na sa boss niya at work-related na lang ang pag-uusapan nila.

    I gave birth last month and I’m so thankful na napaka-healthy ni baby. But madalas ko pa rin maalala ang ginawa ni hubby at madalas akong umiyak. How do I overcome this and paano ko maibabalik ang trust ko kay hubby, lalo na at lagi pa rin niyang makikita at makakausap ‘yung girl sa office? Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko kapag nakasalubong ko siya kapag pumasok na ako.

    Help me, moms and dads, please.

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    Here's her full confession in English:

    I’m not the jealous type. While I was pregnant, my husband regularly sent messages to his manager, a woman, on a messaging app. Whenever I would borrow my husband’s phone, and I would see a new message from the woman, I'd open it and read their conversation. I didn’t find any malice in their sweet exchange, not even when my husband said that he liked his boss. I thought they were just playing around.

    They also have photos on my husband’s phone. But I didn’t mind because the manager is married.

    My husband and I work in the same company, but we have different shifts and handle different accounts. They would smoke together and I would even see them if I arrive early for my shift. I thought nothing of their closeness — it was natural for them to talk a lot, with her as the manager and him as the team lead.

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    I heard from a friend that guys usually cheat if they have a pregnant wife. I was seven months at the time. I suddenly thought of browsing through my husband’s company email since we have the same password.

    In his sent messages, I saw how sweet my husband was toward his boss, and it started during my first month of pregnancy. He also confessed that he had feelings for the woman.

    This one hurt the most — he said he wanted to have a one-night stand with his boss.

    I confronted my husband, and he admitted everything. He apologized, but he never explained why he did or said those things to her. I cried really hard, but I was afraid that it would hurt our baby. He promised that he would avoid his boss from then on and their conversations would strictly be work-related.

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    I gave birth last month to a healthy baby. I’m thankful, but I am always reminded of what my husband did, and I end up crying. How do I overcome this and how do I trust my husband again? He still sees and talks to the woman at the office. I also don’t know how I will feel when I see her again after I go back to work.

    Help me, moms and dads, please.

    Can a relationship be rebuilt once broken? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or share your story via our Facebook Messenger or email at smartparenting2013@gmail.com with "#SPconfession" on the subject line.

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