Known for her honesty and being frank, mother, actress, and host Melai Cantiveros doesn’t hide that she and husband Jason Francisco have explosive fights as a married couple. It was normal, especially during the early years of their marriage, she tells Ogie Diaz in an interview aired on the former’s YouTube channel.
“‘Yung mga unang away namin, laging hiwalayan. Imposibleng hindi mapunta sa hiwalayan. Toothpaste lang nga, ‘hiwalay na tayo!’
“‘Ha? Bakit napunta sa hiwalayan yung toothpaste?’ Immature kasi, Melai recounts.
The mom of two would often tell Jason to leave their home, as an offensive move during an argument. And often, he would accept the challenge.
“Ang goal kasi, pag mag-asawa, gusto mong saktan siya. Eh masasaktan siya pag hiwalay, kasi pride ang nandiyan.
She adds, “Ako lagi akong nagpapalayas. Normal lang sa babae magpalayas ng asawa. Pero bibig ko lang yan, siya naman tinotoo lagi.”
Maturing in marriage
Being able to walk away or disengage from an argument is what the Franciscos consider as the winning move. Despite a history of big arguments, including an instance when Jason returned to his province, Mindoro, for a month and did not go home to his girls, Melai says they have grown as a couple.
‘Kung ikaw ang unang mag-walk out, ikaw ang panalo. Pero ngayon nag-mature na kami. Kasi siyempre, ang relasyon niyo nga, pinipili niyo ang isa’t-isa lagi. Dun tumitibay ang relasyon.
Melai says, “Ngayon pag nagaaway kami, ‘OA ka na masyado diyan.’ ‘Huwag mo nang patulan.’ Huwag ko nang patulan, di na [rin] ako pinapatulan.
Don’t fight in front of the kids
Despite explosive arguments, Melai and Jason do not fight in front of their kids. But they have slipped up a few times.
“Huwag sa harap ng bata, bawal talaga. Pero may mga times na hindi namin mapigilan at sinagot kami ng inaanak mo, she says. Stella, Ogie Diaz’s goddaughter and their youngest once asked her parents to stop fighting. “‘Stop, Mama, Papa! Para kayong mga bata!’ Melai recounts.
Their kids now mock their parents’ seeming ‘love-hate’ relationship, Melai says their daughters would tell them during their sweet moments, “Labing-labing kayo, tapos away nanaman kayo.
RELATED: You Can't Avoid Fighting In Front Of The Kids. How To Do It Without Scaring Them
Money matters
Melai talks a bit about their finances in the same interview, revealing that Jason is not aware how much his wife’s talent fee is. Jason believes in “what’s mine is ours, and what’s yours is yours”.
“Yung sabi niya, na yung pera mo ay sayo. Yung pera ko ay sa atin. Doon ako na-amaze. Kasi yun din yung time na wala akong trabaho kasi nagbubuntis ako.
RELATED: How to Protect Yourself Financially Whether or Not Your Marriage Is in Trouble
“Bigay talaga siya ng bigay ng pera. Sobra talaga, Melai recounts in defense of her husband who is being bashed on social media because it appears to netizens that only Melai works in show business. She explained that Jason is experiencing anxiety, and prefers to focus on their businesses.
“Yung mga moments na ganito na may pinagdadaanan siya, may nararamdaman siyang anxiety na hindi siya makapagtrabaho tapos hindi siya nakikita sa TV, so ibig sabihin wala na siyang kwentang tao? Kaya nga nag-aasawa kasi nagtutulungan, she said.
The secret to marriage
The Maam Chief lead actress is proud to have matured in marriage. “Andun pa rin na pipiliin ang isa’t isa, kasi para sa mga bata. At para sa ‘I do’ namin sa simbahan. Hiyang-hiya naman kami kay Lord, ‘nag-I do, I do’ kami.
She lists understanding and respect as the secret to a long marriage, not love. “Understanding at respect, yung ang number one sa relasyon. Love, kahit ihuli mo na yun.
Melai adds, “Yung love yun ang opening remarks. Pero sa relasyon, para mag tagal, respect na at understanding. Intindihin mo. ‘Sang katutak ng intindi talaga. Parang gusto mo nang patayin, pero intindihin mo nalang.
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