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  • Moms Share the Most Horrifying and Heartbreaking Things Their Mothers-in-Law Have Told Them

    It's hard to have a good relationship with your mother in law. These moms' stories prove it.
    by Kitty Elicay .
Moms Share the Most Horrifying and Heartbreaking Things Their Mothers-in-Law Have Told Them
PHOTO BY iStock
  • In an ideal world, wives will have no problem winning their mother-in-law’s (MIL) approval, but we know it is not always the case. While some women are lucky and get along with their in-laws even before marriage, some end up clashing with the first woman in their husband’s lives for various reasons.

    We asked moms to send in the worst thing their MIL has ever said or done to them. Be ready for some shocking answers.

    Is the milk really the issue?

     

    “My son is 1 year and 10 months and exclusively breastfed. One time, my MIL said, ‘Bakit lagi may sakit ‘yang anak mo at payat? Bumili ka na ng gatas. Bakit ninyo ba tinitipid?” She even compared my son to another child who was ‘healthy’ because the child was chubby.” — sent via email

    “Since my baby was born, I have been trying to breastfeed exclusively. We visited my husband’s parents, and my MIL was shocked that we didn’t bring any formula milk. She looked at my breast and said, ‘May gatas ba ‘yan? Parang wala namang gatas yan.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    “[My MIL] insisted to put manzanilla (oil) on my baby’s tummy every night to avoid ‘kabag.’ I told her that our pediatrician advises against it because it’s not safe. She replied, ‘Ang hilig ninyo maniwala sa pedia pedia na ‘yan. Dati naman walang pedia.’” — sent via email

    “I am still breastfeeding my 2-year-old. My MIL told me, ‘Ang tanda tanda na ng anak mo, nag-de-dede pa sa ‘yo.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    MILs can be tactless (or they want to wound you) 

    “I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome so hirap ako mabuntis. One time, my MIL asked me, ‘Ano, wala pa din (you're not pregnant yet)?’ When I replied, ‘Wala pa rin ho, e,’ she said, ‘Ano ba ‘yan, naunahan ka pa ng baboy ko manganak!’ She even laughed.”

    “In 2014, I got pregnant but suffered a miscarriage. In 2017, I got pregnant again. When my husband broke the news to her, she said, ‘Tignan natin kung matutuloy.’” — sent via email

    “My MIL said, ‘Wala akong pakialam kung doctor ka.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “I asked my MIL if she could take care of my baby for one month while we looked for a yaya. She told me, ‘Hindi ka mabuting nanay. Hindi mo mahal ang anak mo kasi hindi mo kayang mag-resign.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “I got pregnant before marriage, and my partner and I experienced our financial difficulties. My MIL told me, ‘Isinumpa ka siguro ng nanay mo kaya pati anak ko minalas dahil sa’yo.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    “I had a difficult childbirth — I underwent hysterectomy and my twins stayed in the NICU — so our hospital bill amounted to more than half a million. While my MIL looked after me in the hospital, she kept asking me if my father knew that I gave birth already. I said yes, but that he can’t visit because he is still working in another country. My MIL replied, ‘Wala akong pakialam kung ‘di sila makakadalaw. Ang importante magpadala sila ng pera pambayad dito.’

    “I kept quiet, but I wanted to tell her that my family contributed most of the money to pay for the hospital bill, while they only shouldered less than 10%.” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “Once, during their family reunion, I was introduced on stage as ‘My son’s wife. She does not work. So, she just stays at home, and my son is her boss.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “I had a hard time moving around after birth because my wound was so painful (I had a normal delivery and an episiotomy). Every time my baby would cry, I would be slow to react because of the pain.

    “My MIL said, ‘Masakit ba talaga ‘yan? Nung time ko naman ‘di naman masakit, nakapag-mall pa nga ako right after ko manganak. Baka naman nasa utak mo lang ‘yan.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “My husband cheated on me, and my MIL told me, ‘Baka kaya siya nambabae kasi nagkukulang ka. He felt neglected.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    Sometimes, mothers-in-law just refuse to listen

    “My MIL was visiting from the States and insisted that we should feed our 4-month-old son solid food already. While we were having dinner, she fed my son mashed potato. I told her that I wanted to feed my son solid food at 6 months. Her reply? ‘Yeah right, mas magaling ka pa sa aming matatanda.” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “The worst thing my MIL ever did was to feed my 4-month-old baby chocolates.” — sent via Facebook Messenger 

    “We found out that my son was lactose intolerant, but my MIL refused to believe there was such a thing. She said, ‘Sige, paniwalaan ninyo yang doctor kaysa sa akin na may apat na anak. Lahat ng desisyon ninyo itanong ninyo sa doctor. ‘Wag na kayo magtanong sa akin, sa doctor na lang.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    MILs can be petty

    “My MIL told my son, ‘Mas gwapo ang daddy mo sa’yo,’ and I knew it was because my son looked like me.” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    “My MIL always says that she’s better than me. Mas magaling siya mag-alaga at mag-luto. Lahat ng ginagawa ko para sa asawa at anak ko, sasabihin niya na mas magaling siya gumawa kaysa sa akin.” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    Sometimes MILs are just unbelievable

    “My baby was only four days old when my MIL insisted that we visit her house. When we got there, we found out that one of her grandchildren has chickenpox. I wanted to go home, but my MIL refused and said, ‘Hindi naman nakakahawa ang bulutong kapag tumutubo pa lang. Nakakahawa kapag patuyo na.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “The worst thing my MIL ever said to me was I ruined her son’s life.” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “My MIL accused me of having an affair with her husband — my father-in-law!” — sent via Facebook Messenger

    “I suffered a miscarriage. While blood was dripping down between my legs, my MIL looked at me and said, ‘Buti nga sa ‘yo.’” — sent via Facebook Messenger

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    Some of these stories may have made your jaws drop, but according to the moms who sent them, they dealt with the negativity by keeping silent and avoiding their mothers-in-law for a while.

    One mom who had enough of her MIL told her husband that she needed a break from visiting the in-laws. “I know it hurt him, but I explained to him that she (MIL) should let me take care of my daughter the way I want to. My child, my rules. What I need is help and support, not criticism,” she explains.

    It is really hard to please some in-laws and finding that delicate balance between standing your ground and respecting what your in-laws believe in takes a lot of work. There are ways to have a better relationship with them, but as you've read above, it is tough to understand where they are coming from, especially when you feel disrespected. You will need infinite patience. However, if your relationship has become toxic (and threatening your sanity), don't be afraid to take a break from them. (Read here ways to survive toxic relatives whom you can't cut out of your life.) 

    All moms who contributed to this story wished to remain anonymous. Names were purposely withheld to protect their privacy.

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