To My 'Ninang Sa Kasal,' I Forgive You For Having An Affair With My Husband

Motherhood can be a lonely job. What helps moms is a community that listens and gives voice to their joy, fears, and pain. She isn't always looking for answers — sometimes, it's about crying and screaming at the top of her lungs without judgment. We call it an #SPconfession.

To our “ninang sa kasal” who almost wrecked our marriage from the very beginning, there are three things I want to tell you.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you for having an affair with my husband. I forgive you, even though you showed no remorse at all, even though I wanted to curse you for having the nerve to do it inside our home, disrespecting the privacy of our bedroom and of our very own bed.

I forgive you even though you continuously denied it after I caught you red-handed. I forgive you for physically assaulting me when I confronted you. I forgive you for saying that my husband would be better off without me, even though you, as our ninang, were supposed to help my husband and me see the best in each other in difficult times.

I thank you for making me realize that marriage isn’t always warm goodnight kisses but also cold sleepless nights. Thanks to you, I know now that it takes hard work to keep the bond of marriage bond stronger.

Thank you, too, for showing me the person I never want to be — that I'll be careful not to be — for the rest of my life.

Thank you for sneaking into our house that day while I was away at work. Because of that, I decided to quit my job and stay at home to take care of my family. It was the best decision I ever made. Now I have all the time to spend with my lovely children.

Thank you for ruining my relationship with my in-laws. Now I know the value of honesty and truth in building relationships. Thank you for talking ill of me behind my back, even to my 4-year-old daughter. It gave me the chance to teach her about truth and trust, and now I am more careful of my words in front of my children.

Thank you for these scars you left on my heart; these are proof of the strong warrior I have become. Most of all, thank you for the pain — it has led me closer to God than ever. 

Lastly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I despised you, and just hearing your name makes me sick to my stomach. I’m sorry that I could not just put it all behind me as you wanted. It’s been over six years, I know, but this is the best I can do.

I’m sorry if I can’t give you the respect that you want from me. I know you are not just our ninang, you are also the wife of my husband’s uncle, and I am supposed to respect you as a family. But after all that happened, I just can’t do that.

I hope you receive the respect that you want from your own self because it is not something you can demand — not from someone you have blatantly disrespected.

Good luck, and may we both find peace.

Do you have an #SPconfession? Send it to our Facebook Messenger or email at smartparentingsubmissions@gmail.com. Join us at the Smart Parenting Village

This story was edited for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and formatting.

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