5 Truths Newlyweds Must Know About Long-term Relationships
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  • We all know that the first few months of a relationship are all about romance—the “honeymoon stage,” as it is called, as you both feel the "high" of your new status as a couple. But as time goes by, you mellow out and fall into the more challenging part of a relationship, which is, actually maintaining your relationship. The effort is definitely worth it, but nobody ever said it was easy. Here are a few things that everyone coming into a mature, long-term commitment should be ready for:

    You’ll frequently get annoyed at each other.

    It's true that the more you get to know each other, the more you'll find things to love—but alongside it, don't be surprised to discover ticks about your partner that will annoy you (and you thought you knew him well enough!). Small habits such as being chronically late for dates, or forgetting to properly flush the toilet can cause a lot of spats which can escalate into something bigger. You’ll need to remember that the learning never ends, and it’s about respecting each other’s personalities enough to actually compromise.

    Aside from learning how to compromise, you’ll need to learn to sacrifice.

    There will be things that you need to give up in order for your relationship to grow. These could be simple things like skipping time for yourself to run an errand for him, or as complicated and drawn-out as giving up a bad habit. Here’s the trick: don’t sacrifice to the point of martyrdom. Magtira ka lagi para sa sarili mo. You don’t give up your happiness for anyone, not even your partner, because you can’t give more if you're running empty. To make things work, the two of you need to adjust to and with each other. Think of it as putting in coins in the jar that is your relationship—since the two of you are investing in something important, you’ll each need to put in part of yourselves.

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    There will be times when you’ll be too busy to feel kilig.

    It won't be all that time that you’ll get to answer sweet nothings over Messenger (but make the effort, just the same). You’ll have to adjust to each other’s schedules, especially if you both work high-stress jobs. Having crazy jobs just means that you need to plan your time together better and hold it sacred—no work, no phones, no distractions.

    There will be instances when you’ll want to end things.

    Let’s be real: it will cross your mind during some of your relationship’s lowest points. You’ll have huge fights that will make you question if everything you’re doing is even worthwhile. These are moments of decision wherein you realize the value of what you have, and you manage to see things through in spite of everything.

    You promise more than your forever—you promise your every day.

    “Forever” is a romantic concept, but true love is a decision you make on a daily basis, whether consciously or not. You don’t stay with one person because you’re used to each other—you stay because you know that you still have so much to offer.

    Love is the continuous affirmation of your commitment because honestly, you can opt out anytime—it happens even to married people. Having that choice is a fact of life. But to wake up every morning deciding to grow with your spouse, to take the time and effort to build your lives together, and to promise to be with that one person no matter what happens—that’s the kind of love you’d want to have. As Scott M. Peck wrote in his book The Road Less Traveled

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    “Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth... Love is as love does. Love is an act of willnamely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” 

    H/T: Her

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    This story originally appeared on FemaleNetwork.com.

    * Minor edits have been made by the Smartparenting.com.ph editors.

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