Richard and Maricar on Cheating: Is It The Fault of the Husband or the Other Woman?
PHOTO BY @maricarreyespoon/Instagram
  • Richard Poon and Maricar Reyes's latest vlog tackles cheating.

    Whenever an affair happens, wives usually think that it's the other woman's fault.

    But Richard disagreed.

    "Maraming nagsusulat sa amin na mga wives na niloko ng mga asawa nila. Ang nangyayari, most of the time, yung asawa, sinusugod mo yung babae..."

    The couple looked at the situation from a different perspective.

    Richard continued, "You should not focus on the other woman.

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    "Yung mga mentors namin, especially yung mga lalaki, they always tell us, 'Remember kapag yung lalaki ayaw niya mag-cheat, kahit na anong gawin ng babae na landiin siya, hindi naman siya bibigay, e.

    "'If you keep on focusing on the girl, nagsasayang ka ng energy."

    The crooner added that the wife should accept the sad fact that it was her husband who cheated on her.

    "Ang may problema is actually your partner.

    "Gusto rin ng asawa mo kaya nagkaroon ng affair."

    He stressed, "Kanino ka may control? Sa asawa mo na kasama mo habang buhay o sa isang babae na hindi mo kilala?

    "Every time may affair, hindi namin ginagawa ni Maricar yung advice na, 'Sige, lusubin mo yung babae. Kausapin mo...'"

    Instead, ask your husband about it and answer this hard-to-answer question.

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    Richard resumed, "Sana mag-focus ka dun sa partner mo, 'May pagkukulang ba ako sa iyo kaya pumatol ka sa kabila?' Yun ang magandang question kasi the fact na pumatol siya, ibig sabihin may kulang ang relationship niyo—may hinahanap siya..."

    Meanwhile, confronting the girl, according to Maricar, will not address the root of the problem.

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    She threw in, "Yung dahilan kung bakit siya nag-cheat in the first place, hindi maaayos.

    "Sige, isugod mo yung girl, natakot na si girl, natakot sa iyo.

    "It's a matter of time makakahanap din ang asawa mo ng isa pa na magbibigay nung need na hinahanap niya."

    The wife should acknowledge that the relationship has a problem, and it has to be fixed.

    Richard continued, "[Yung kabit] Yun daw may problema... Then later on, dahil hindi nga na-deal yung ugat ng asawa na, 'Bakit ka nambabae?' nambabae ulit yung asawa.

    "The problem is not the other woman.

    "The problem is yung asawa mo saka ikaw, merong something to fix in your relationship. Focus on that."

    Maricar then asked this question, "What empowers the kabit? Ano yung nagbibigay sa kanya ng confidence?

    "E, di yung pagmamahal ng guy o yung cheating spouse..."

    After talking things out, the cheater must own up to what he did.

    If the guy wouldn't recognize that he was at fault, there's no stopping him from doing it again.

    Richard related a true-to-life story of someone he knows.

    "Babaero, siga, comes from a very, very troubled family. Nakipag-sex siya sa isang girl, kaibigan niya.

    "Yung lalaki, sabi niya, 'I had sex with the girl, pero hindi ko kasalanan yun kasi siya nanglalandi sa amin.'

    "Napatingin kami [ng mga mentors ko] kasi parang mali ito, a... hindi niya ina-accept yung responsibility, yung katotohanan na gusto din niya.

    "Yung attitude ng lalaki diyan, 'Wala akong kasalanan diyan.'

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    "After mga another 10 years, yung lalake is in very deep trouble.

    "Nakabuntis siya, nakulong... ang gulo lang.

    "That's a perfect example ng if wala kang kasalanan at feeling mo yung babae lang ang may kasalanan...mahirap siyang itama."

    READ: Why Maricar Reyes considers "harmless" text messages a form of cheating


    This story originally appeared on Pep.ph.

    *Minor edits have been made by the SmartParenting.com.ph editors.

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