When my girlfriends and I catch up over lunch or dinner, raving about the kids is part of the agenda. But so is ranting about how our husbands seem to have a more, well, comfortable life. They somehow seem to be spared from the domestic duties that plague us, wives. We all agree: we wish husbands can "do more." Of course, we never fully articulate what we mean by "more" (probably because we're busy with how good dessert is and the fact we don't have to eat in a rush).
Like many wives, however, have discovered getting annoyed and mad at husbands can be exhausting. So they've coped with it well by choosing to change their perspective, which we have to admit is handy and less waste of energy. How?
Your husband says, "I looked everywhere and can't find it." The third time it happens you probably pick a fight. When it happens again and again, you're just rolling your eyes by now. By the nth time he says it, many wives will tell you that what your husband is really saying: "I didn't look at all. I can't survive without you."
You smirk, but you can't avoid laughing at the same time.
We've all seen that meme where the child asks his mom a whole lot of different stuff. But he asks his dad one thing. "Where's mom?" One can argue it pretty much sums up married life with kids.
Most husbands can't function at home without their wives — the kids know this to be true. Our husbands may not acknowledge it out loud, but they know in their hearts that it's true. Based on the thousands of comments in this post from Good Housekeeping, it's treated as a fact.
In the comments, some husbands tried to spin it around and said they couldn't find things because the wife always moved it around. A woman replied, "If your wife always moves things, it's 'cause you're messy." Burn.
Sometimes, it feels like your husband is a child who needs you as much as your kids do. But being needed can feel good.
See? Perspective. Of course, shifting your view doesn't mean you're tolerating it. There are many nifty hacks to solve hubby's cluelessness in the home (or his cleanliness) and make him help you. You're just ridding yourself of the negative energy.
As a married girlfriend of mine puts it: If your husband doesn't help around the house, maybe it's not that they don't care, but perhaps they think you've got it covered. Sometimes, we wives don't ask for help but expect it anyway. You only need to ask if he could help you nicely, and they will oblige (and we know you're going to make sure he does it).