May Tiwala Talaga Siya Sa Akin: Love Lessons From KZ, TJ Monterde

Singer and songwriter TJ Monterde is at the peak of his career, becoming the first-ever Filipino solo male artist to sell out three consecutive concerts of"Sarili Nating Mundo" at the Araneta Coliseum in February. He also hit 1 billion streams on Spotify for his hit love song, Palagi, which he composed and performed with his wife, KZ Tandingan.

In back-to-back interviews with Karen Davila and Toni Gonzaga on their respective vlogs, the 35-year-old acoustic pop balladeer from Mindanao shared how KZ has been his guiding star throughout his journey—starting from the bottom and now reaching the top.

TJ and KZ were born in Davao and met in Manila on May 29, 2013. Ten years later, on the anniversary of their 'I Met You' Day, TJ composed the song Palagi for his wife. Little did he know, that very song he wrote within an hour would change his life forever. 

Here are some lessons from their marriage that couples can learn from.

Love lessons from TJ Monterde and KZ Tandingan's marriage

1. Honor your parents.

A man of faith, TJ shared that he grew up in a Christian family and was deeply inspired by his father, who was a radio DJ and an associate pastor. He recalls always seeing him praying in a corner of their home.

"We always pray for our marriage. For the Lord to protect our marriage. We always pray for that," TJ told Karen.

"If you honor your parents, God will bless you." — TJ Monterde

The couple married in August 2020, at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, in an intimate ceremony, believing it was the best time to be together. Three years later, they wed again, this time in the presence of their parents. 

"Our families were there, and the whole wedding revolved around them.
The special part of it was, nahatid nila kami sa altar na hindi nila nagawa nung [unang] wedding namin."

Instead of making vows to each other, the couple dedicated their vows to their parents. "I did my vow sa parents niya. She did a vow sa parents ko. It's one big family now."

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A post shared by TJ Monterde (@tjmusicmonterde)

TJ emphasized, "If you honor your parents, God will bless you. We have proven every time na if we do something that will make our parents happy, may blessing na dumadating sa amin."

Even now that they’re married, they remain closely connected with their families. "My sister, nasa New Zealand na siya ngayon. But we talk every day. Kami ng family ko, and KZ's family too."

2. Trust your spouse.

TJ was only 21 when he took a risk and moved to Manila after college. Aside from his guitar and a notebook full of songs, he had nothing—no connections, backers, nothing. In 2013, he was signed by a record label and released his first album. His debut song, Ikaw at Ako, was written for his ex-girlfriend.

He met his wife in 2013 through Martin Nievera, who was mentoring KZ at that time. They started as friends and became a couple in 2015.

TJ recalled a time early in their marriage when he struggled in his career. "Wala akong masyadong trabaho. I asked my management, 'Babaan niyo na lang yung talent fee ko.' I just wanna be there."

He added, "And KZ, she's always been KZ. Knowing na I'm the head of the house. Ako yung lalaki. So, I felt like I should be the provider. But she never made me feel that way. Not even once."

"Lagi niya [KZ] sinasabi sa akin, 'Darating yung time na, ibibili mo ako ng bag.' May tiwala talaga siya sa akin." —TJ Monterde at a time he was struggling in his career

He especially appreciated KZ’s unwavering support when they bought their house. "Wala akong masyadong ambag dun sa binili namin ng bahay. Yung sa akin lang, mga kuryente, tubig, magkano lang naman yun. Lagi ko sinasabi, 'Lord, ano ba ito? Pang kuryente, tubig na lang ba talaga ako dito? Paano kaya ito, Lord?'

Fast-forward to today—TJ sold out a three-night concert at Araneta in February, is on a Philippine tour, and is gearing up for a world tour, all with KZ by his side.

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A post shared by TJ Monterde (@tjmusicmonterde)

For 15 years, TJ never gave up on his career, even when he struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Through it all, he leaned on his wife, "Lagi niya sinasabi sa akin, 'Darating yung time na, ibibili mo ako ng bag.' May tiwala talaga siya sa akin."

Because of her faith in him, he never felt insecure. Now, they are now able to contribute equally to their household. "Parehas na, parehas na kami. Nakakapag-share na ako. Kasi prayer ko talaga yun, nung time na yun, 'Lord, kahit monthly man lang ng bahay,' kasi mahal eh. Pero yung kaya ko nung time na yun talaga, pang-kuryente, tubig, internet, parang ganyan lang kaya kong iambag. Pero, ang galing ni Lord. Ngayon, kaya na."

One of TJ's longtime dreams was to sing a movie soundtrack, and it finally happened in 2024 with not just any movie but the highest-grossing Filipino film of all time, Hello, Love, Again.

3. Lift each other up.

Their love story wasn’t spared from criticism. When TJ courted KZ, people accused him of riding on her fame. He would brush it off back then. At that time, KZ was a mainstay at the Sunday variety show ASAP, something TJ also dreamed of.

Despite the public’s doubts, KZ always defended him. "Grabe yung assurance niya sa akin eh. Na parang, 'Hindi mo naman ako kailangan. Tingnan mo yung sarili mo, ang galing-galing mo.' Ganun siya."

When TJ almost quit on his music career in 2022 and considered opening a coffee shop, KZ still supported him.  

"Open communication naman kami. Sabi ko, 'Pasensya ka na, parang ikaw muna.' Tapos, sabi niya sa akin, 'Ano ka ba? Darating din yung time. Alam ko, sa future, ibibili mo ako ng bag.'"

"Salamat sa encouragement mo sa akin and sa pagtiwala mo sa kakayanan ko or sa potential ko from the very beginning. Huwag kang mag-alala, I will always be here for you. Your first, your last, and only, palagi." —TJ Monterde to wife KZ

Toni Gonzaga reflected on this, saying, "Lesson learned na naman yan sa mga mag-asawa. Kung nagsa-struggle ang partner natin, huwag natin silang tignan kung ano yung sitwasyon nila ngayon. Tignan natin yung who they can be."

She added how important it is to encourage your spouse, "Ang laki ng nagagawa ng paniniwala ng asawa. Even before na nakita mo yung Araneta, nakita na ni KZ yun sa utak niya na magagawa ito ng asawa ko. Toni shared a quote, 'Your husband will become what you see him to be.'"

4. Share your wins. 

On the third night of TJ's Araneta concert, concert king Martin Nievera surprised him by performing a front act. This was humbling for TJ, who used to be Martin’s front act for years.

But to him, victories are shared.  

"Lagi namin sinasabi sa isa't-isa kahit hindi sa akin, basta sa atin. So kunwari, meron akong something, share tayo dito, atin to. Happy kaming dalawa. Kasi may mga awards nights na siya lahat panalo, para din akong nanalo. May awards night naman, ako yung nanalo, kaming dalawa yung panalo. Ganon yung dynamics namin."

"Pinaligiran Niya ako with the right people. And, may sinend yung mommy ko na Bible verse na, 'It will take time, but it will happen.' Nandito na ako ngayon." —TJ Monterde

In all his tours, one thing remains non-negotiable—KZ has to be with him.

5. Be grateful to your spouse and your support system.

At the end of his Araneta concert, TJ revealed that KZ surprised him with a Rolex watch—one he had always wanted but never bought for himself.

"Mas na-touch ako kasi, matagal niya na rin gusto ang bumili ng Rolex. Wala siyang Rolex pero inuna niya ako. Ramdam ko na mahal na mahal niya talaga ako. Sabi niya lang ganun, 'Oo nga eh. Pero ito, sa'yo na ito. I'm so proud of you.' So, yun yung naging message niya sa akin nung gabing yun."

With how things changed for TJ in a span of two years, TJ said he's most thankful for his wife, their parents, his team and band members, and their supporters. "Pinaligiran Niya ako with the right people. And, may sinend yung mommy ko sa akin three days ago na Bible verse na, 'It will take time, but it will happen.' Nandito na ako ngayon. Ito na yun. Basta maniwala ka lang talaga at magpursigi ka."

And about the bag KZ always believed he would buy for her?

"Ibibili ko siya ng bag, pero, ngayon, two days ago, binili ko na rin siya ng same watch. So, parehas na kami."

TJ tells KZ, "Salamat sa encouragement mo sa akin and sa pagtiwala mo sa kakayanan ko or sa potential ko from the very beginning. Huwag kang mag-alala, I will always be here for you. Your first, your last, and only, palagi."

Watch the full interview of TJ Monterde with Karen Davila here and with Toni Gonzaga here.