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If you're still thinking that domestic abuse should be dealt with privately or it can only be called abuse if he physically assaults you, it is not that cut and dried. Our law says so.
Republic Act 9262, or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act states, "Violence against women and their children’ refers to any act or a series of acts committed by any person… which is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse including threats of such acts, battery, assault, coercion, harassment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty." Other than physcial, domestic abuse can be sexual in nature, psychological or emotional, and economical, as defined by the law.
Working to change public perception of what constitutes domestic abuse, social activist, writer, and artist Zahira Kelly started the hashtag #MaybeHeDoesn'tHitYou on Twitter to document her own experiences with domestic abuse and the stories of the people close to her. "For several years now on social media, on a daily basis I talk about many different forms of abuse and what they look like," she told BBC Trending.
Little did she know that it would encourage women all over the world to share their domestic abuse stories, all achingly told in 140 or less characters or less. Scrolling through the #MaybeHeDoesn'tHitYou can be an eye opener.
When he blames you for everything
maybe he doesnt hit u. he just comes home angry at the world& broke& starts putting u down for being a useless parasite whos why hes broke.
— Planet Thickness (@bad_dominicana) May 1, 2016
When he manipulates you to have sex with him
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but acts like he's gonna die & you're abandoning him if you refuse sex.
— lolsob (@lolsob) May 4, 2016
When he threatens you economic and financial security
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he threatens your financial security, undermines your authority & constantly tells you you are nothing without him.
— Nengi Willie-Pepple (@RunwayRibbons) May 2, 2016
When you're overly conscious about what you do so he doesn't throw a fit
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but you avoid saying or doing things because you don’t want to have to deal with how he might react.
— Jennifer Hodgson (@jennifer_hodg) May 9, 2016
#maybehedoesnthityou but raising his voice is enough to get you scrubbing the house spotless lest he does hit
— Ness (@astromad) May 11, 2016
When he controls every aspect of your life, even your friends
#maybehedoesnthityou but you need his approval for everything and he treats you like property and not a person
— Keegan Kenzie (@Keegannnnn) May 9, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he controls what u wear, who u talk to, distances u from friends, and tries to make himself the only thing u have.
— Alexis Isabel (@lexi4prez) May 12, 2016
When he verbally abuses you
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but his pet names for you now are "bitch" and "cunt" and "whore" and "useless"
— ace ratcliff â™¿ï¸ (@MortuaryReport) May 4, 2016
#maybehedoesnthityou but he constantly insults your intelligence
— Andrea Hardaway (@AndreaHardaway) May 11, 2016
When he threatens to hurt you
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he stood in the doorway, taller than you, stronger than you, so you couldn't leave until he was finished talking.
— the NightSnake (@SherylKee) May 4, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but you've watched him punch enough walls and destroy enough objects to wonder if you're next
— a wandering ghost (@pale_teen) May 12, 2016
When he has no respect for you at all
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he purposefully fails to communicate & resolve issues that are hurting you because he enjoys having power over you
— morgs (@mkoziolx) May 10, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but his voice is always the only one to be heard and he makes the value of your opinions and feelings seem like nothing
— SM (@floreashelby) May 2, 2016
According to the 2013 National Demographic and Health Survey, one in every 25 married women ages 15 to 49, exprience emotional, physical or sexual abuse from their partners.
The U.S. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence came up with a set of questions that can help identify psychological abuse. If these seem familar to you or your women friends, then it's time to get help.
Ask this: "Does your partner...
• Threaten to harm you, your children, your family and/or your pets?
• Tell you are worthless and that no one else will ever love you?
• Isolate you from your friends and/or family?
• Control your behavior and monitor your movements and whereabouts?
• Tell you that you are crazy?
• Demean you in public or in private?
• Constantly criticize you?
• Blame you for everything that goes wrong?
• Stalk you?
• Cause you to feel guilt over things that are not your fault?
• Threaten to take away your children?
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