Since opening up about her third miscarriage in July 2021 (read here), Kyla has been honestly and bravely sharing her thoughts and feelings about pain on social media. She admits to having an "overwhelming feeling of sadness."
On August 1, the Hanggang Ngayon singer posted a photo of her negotiating a craggy path. She said hopefully in the caption, “Knowing that God is sovereign over all things and that He loves us, I walk in hope…I walk in faith.”
Days later, on the 17th, Kyla chose a shot taken from a moving vehicle that captures what looks like the setting sun. She captioned it with this inspirational life quote from American writer Han Nolan: “There’s always light after the dark. You have to go through that dark place to get I, but it’s there, waiting for you.
“It’s like riding on a train through a dark tunnel. If you get so scared, you jump off in the middle of the ride, then you’re there, in the tunnel, stuck in the dark. You have to ride the train all the way to the end of the ride.”
But by the 22nd, when another season of enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) was declared due to rising, yet again, of COVID-19 cases, Kyla showed more vulnerability. She posted a photo of herself on a beach, where she was supposed to go with her husband Rich Alvarez, a former pro basketball player, and their 8-year-old son Toby.
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Kyla said in the caption, "There’s something about the sound of the waves that is so calming. It’s one of the most beautiful calls of nature that I love to hear. I need that feel-good vibe. I need to unwind. We planned to go to Palawan this month. But ECQ happened. Oh well."
She went on wearing her heart on her sleeve: "I’ve been feeling really really down the past few days. I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness, of wanting to be left alone.. And my husband would always wonder why I was acting that way.. and I can’t explain it.
"And he’s so nice to me still and so patient, I feel so bad. Sometimes I’d wake up.. I’d have dreams about me carrying a baby. The last dream I had, I was walking Millie to school. I cried because I didn’t see her face. I wish I saw her face.." Millie was her third miscarriage.
Kyla went on, musing, "I guess I’ll forever wonder about how my babies would look like if they were born... I keep having those dreams. And losing them. It feels so traumatic."
She ended her post with this wish: "I just want an escape from reality.. even if it’s just for little while."