Marian Rivera: Never Kang Magiging Successful Kung May Galit Ka sa Magulang Mo

Marian Rivera may seem to have it all -- a solid acting career, a flourishing business, and a fulfilling family life. But the success she’s enjoying now after 15 years in show business wasn’t something she dreamt of as a child, especially since she came from a broken family.  

“Marami akong natutunan nung pinalaki ako ng lola ko. Pero ang number one na tumatak sa isip ko, kasi sinasabi nila di ba, pag broken family ka, sira ka. Pero sabi ng lola ko, hindi yan ang magiging basehan mo para sa magiging deskripsyon mo bilang tao. Ipakita mo sa kanila, kahit separated yung parents mo, matatag ka, yung gusto mong misyon mo sa buhay magagawa mo, at nandito ako sa likod mo,” Marian told host Angel Jacob in an episode of CNN Philippines’ Leading Women which aired yesterday, October 2.

With her grandmother as her main guardian growing up, and as she rebuilt her relationship with her estranged parents, the lessons she learned along the way have become the foundation for the set of values she and husband Dingdong Dantes are teaching their kids Zia, 4 years old, and Ziggy, 4 months old. 

Here are the lessons Marian shared on Leading Women:

1. On holding grudges: “Never kang magiging successful sa buhay kung may galit ka sa mga parents mo.” 

When her parents separated when she was a kid, the only child of Francisco Gracia Alonso, a Spaniard, and Amalia Rivera, a Filipina, was left under the care of her maternal grandmother, Francisca. Marian shares that her lola told her, “Lagi mong tatandaan, never kang magiging successful sa buhay kung may galit ka sa mga parents mo. Kailangan i-let go mo yan, ipagdasal mo yan, at ipakita mo sa buong mundo na kaya ko ‘to.”

2. On staying healthy: “Pahirap pala nang pahirap (ang panganganak).”

When they were still boyfriend-girlfriend, Marian has always been vocal about her desire to have many kids. But now that she has two, her mind may have changed a little. 

“Sabi ko noon, gusto ko, basketball team. Pero nung ipanganak ko si Zia medyo pakonti nang pakonti. Hanggang finally naging dalawa na, pahirap pala nang pahirap. Bawat pala pregnancy iba-iba yung mae-experience mo, at kay Zia at Ziggy, hindi ko pwedeng i-compare yung hirap. [Pero] Kailangan kong maging strong para sa mga anak ko.”  

“Pero yung asawa ko humihingi pa ng isa, so tingnan natin,” she quipped.

3. On giving children roots and wings: “Bigyan mo [ang mga anak mo] ng determinasyon sa buhay nila.”

She says for most of her growing up years, she made a lot of decisions by herself (often with her lola, who is “Kakuntsaba ko sa lahat ng bagay”) and that has made her into a resilient adult.

“Gano’n yung ginawa ko sa mga anak ko din. Independent sila at alam nila andito si Mama at si Daddy sa likod nila, pero, like Zia, hinahayaan namin siyang gawin yung mga bagay na alam naman naming kaya niya. Dahil dun, bibigyan mo sila ng determinasyon sa buhay nila na, ‘Ah kaya ko pala.’ Bigyan mo ng kumpiyansa, kumbaga.”

4. On breastfeeding: “Kanya-kanya yan bilang nanay.”

A staunch advocate of breastfeeding, Marian uses her celebrity status to further the cause. However, she respects that different women have different choices when it comes to feeding their children. 

“Ako, kanya-kanya yan bilang nanay. Naniniwala ko na hindi mo dapat pine-pending ang nutrisyon ng anak mo. Everytime na gutom sila, ibibigay mo yan sa kanila.

“Mahalaga [ang breastfeeding] sa akin kasi nakita ko yung resulta sa panganay ko e, na malusog siya, matalinong bata, mapagmahal. Yun nga lang sobrang kulit. Pero sabi nga ng asawa ko, ang pagiging makulit daw ay pagma-manifest ng pagiging matalino. Para siyang times two version ko.”

5. On choosing a partner: “[Dapat yung] taong naiimpluwensiyahan ka para maging mas mabuti kang tao.”

Marian describes her relationship with husband Dingdong, her husband of five years, as transparent. “Palagi kaming nagha-heart-to-heart talk, palaging may time sa isa’t isa. 

“May mga trials din naman, pero hindi mo makikita yung pagsubok e. Mas titingnan mo yung malaking anggulo na masaya ka, blessed kami together, at may mga anak kami na nandyan para sa amin.

“Walang perfect na family para sa akin. Pero kung iwo-work together niyo yan, pwedeng close to perfect. 

“Kung meron man akong isang ipinagpapasalamat, ay yung naging asawa ko siya. Kasi naniniwala ako na etong taong eto naiimpluwensiyahan ka niya para maging mas mabuting tao. Yun ang ginawa ni Dingdong sa buhay ko.”