Content creator Lorita Cadena, better known as Mother Kween, reveals in an interview that she has not moved on from her son's death. Her son, Lloyd Cafe Cadena, was a popular YouTube vlogger who passed away in 2020; he was known for his humurous skits and bright personality.
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In an interview with Toni Gonzaga, Mother Kween expressed how blessed she felt to have Lloyd as her child and talked about the enjoyable time they had together when she returned to the Philippines, as she was an OFW.
"Close talaga kami. Sabay kami matulog, sabay kami kakain. Tapos pag-aalis, sasama din ako," said Mother Kween. The bond between Lloyd and his mother even shone through in his vlogs. Their kulitan moments on camera brought happiness to their millions of followers.
But Mother Kween became emotional as she recalled that the eight months she spent back in the Philippines upon returning were the final moments she and her son had together.
Mother Kween on Lloyd Cadena's Passing
On September 4, 2020, Mother Kween received devastating news of Lloyd's passing from her daughter. The heartbreak was intensified by Lloyd's decision to keep his illness a secret from her. Since finding out about Lloyd's condition, Mother Kween had limited communication with him online due to health protocols during the lockdown.
Lloyd passed away in September 2020 due to a heart attack. The COVID-19 restrictions made Mother Kween feel that protocols might have impacted Lloyd's health.
"Wala ako sa sarili noon, e. Parang hindi ako maniwala. Kami lang kasi dalawa na parang ang hirap, hindi ka makakilos. Tapos ito ako, iyak nang iyak. Hindi mo ma-explain 'yung pakiramdam ko, e. Hindi mo ma-explain 'yung feelings ganoon. Mahirap," Mother Kween said through her tears.
"Actually, parang hindi ko ma-handle. Tapos sabi ng panganay ko: 'Ma, may iba ka pang anak.' ‘Yong parang natauhan ako. ‘Yong gano’n," she added.
She continued, "Tapos, ang daming nagtatanong na paano daw ako naka-move on. Tapos sabi ko, wala namang nanay na maka-move on, ‘di ba? Hindi kasi nila naiintindihan, e, kasi ‘di sila naging nanay, ‘di ba?"
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Mother Kween also shared her dream about Lloyd. "Nanaginip ako nu’n pumunta raw ako ng parang malaking bahay, malaking garden. Ang ganda talaga ng paligid. Puro mga halaman, bulaklak. Nag-picnic daw kami nu’n."
“Tapos nakita ko si Lloyd doon. He’s a little boy. Mga 5 years old, naghahabol siya ng mga tutubi, paruparo, doon sa garden na ‘yun,” said Mother Kween.
Despite her deep grief, Mother Kween's other children provided unwavering support, helping her find the strength to move forward. She continues to honor Lloyd's memory through her vlogs, a journey she embarked on because of his encouragement. Lloyd had inspired her to create her own YouTube channel, Mother Kween Vlogs, after she retired from working abroad.
"Tinutuloy ko lang kasi iyon, 'yung vlog, kasi iyon ang gusto talaga niya na ituloy ko. Sa akin kasi naman, libangan lang kasi, di ba, nag-for good na ako 'tapos senior citizen. Sabi ko, 'Mag-shoot or hindi, okay lang.' So naisip ko na, 'Ba't hindi itutuloy? Pinaghirapan naman ni Lloyd.' So tinuloy ko," she explained.
Coping with a child's death? Reading this article on grief and coping might help.
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