Statistics show that almost 25 percent of pregnancies end abruptly with loss or miscarriage. Inasmuch as many factors contribute to conceiving a human life, there are also may factors that may result in losing a baby in the womb. At some point, some women would even turn to superstition, delaying the “I am expecting” news until the third trimester so as not to jinx it.
There is no single cause or reason, and when a miscarriage happens. It hits hard — not just the woman who's lost her baby, but also the family and friends that surround her, wanting to lift her up and help her overcome this sad ordeal.
Writer and mom Neema B. Ejercito, who has had two miscarriages, shares the three things she did to ease her pain in an article for SmartParenting.com.ph. First, she wrote down her feelings. Second, she tried to go about her day instead of moping around. Lastly, she got herself a support group — family and friends — she can talk about her experience.
But if you’re on the receiving end of such sad news, what do you say to someone who has had a miscarriage?
Clinical psychologist specializing in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health Dr. Jessica Zucker knows all too well that losing a pregnancy is difficult after having a miscarriage during the 16th week of her second pregnancy. In 2014, she started the #IHadAMiscarriage campaign with the release of her first piece “Saying It Loudly: I Had A Miscarriage” in the New York Times.
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Dr. Zucker also knows that loved ones often find themselves not knowing what to do or say to a woman who has just lost a baby in her womb. We've all been there, done that. Though we mean well, we end up saying things that are more hurtful than comforting. Sometimes it seems better to just not say anything at all, but this leaves women who miscarried feeling somewhat isolated.
Recently, Dr. Zucker launched a series of pregnancy loss cards to help loved ones empathize with a woman who's had a miscarriage. According to her website, she created these pregnancy loss cards “with the aim of filling a gaping hole in the cultural conversation and in the marketplace surrounding pregnancy loss.”
“I do hope these cards widen and deepen the cultural conversation. They’re not therapy, but I’d just love to reach people. These cards are daring us to sit with the uncomfortability of what it means to be alive,” she told Yahoo Health.