One Mom Asked, ‘Selfish Ba Ang Umalis Mag-Isa?’ Other Moms Say, ‘Definitely Not’

Personally, I feel that one of the things most mothers get hardwired for is to give and drop everything just to provide for their children. If our child needs breast milk, we forego sleep and even work to make it happen. If our child is sick, everything gets canceled; we’ll stay beside our child to monitor and care for him. If your child has a school activity, meetings get rescheduled because we want to be there.

Being selfish is definitely not part of any mom’s vocabulary. Which is perhaps why this question from Smart Parenting Village–a Facebook community of over 100,000 parents, resonated with me.

This anonymous mother asked:

“Magiging selfish ba ako kung gugustuhin ko mag-staycation mag-isa?
2023 has been so tough on me in terms of work and marriage.
Gusto ko magsimula ng panibago sa 2024, but I need to recharge and replenish what I have lost. Gusto ko muna mag-disconnect.
Gusto ko umalis mag-isa but isn’t it being selfish?”

To the anonymous mother, firstly, the fact that you are worried that the act of recharging yourself is selfish makes the said act not selfish at all. Secondly, it takes courage to admit to oneself that you have a problem and are willing to correct it. Lastly, we have long established that self-care is a must for moms.

You can’t pour from an empty cup

–It’s a popular saying which basically means that for us to take care of others, we must take care of ourselves first. And as moms who take care of our families, which typically include 3 to 4 persons most of the time, we definitely need to refill our cups every now and then.

Here are a few simple reasons to prove to you why self-care is important for moms:

How we treat ourselves sets an example for our kids: And we definitely want to show our kids that they should know how to take care of themselves by taking needed breaks, cultivating healthy habits, and trying to maintain a generally positive outlook in life.

Caring for ourselves helps us get the best version of ourselves: And our families get to enjoy this best version of ourselves as well. Who wants a mom who is overworked, tired, and angry at life all the time, right?

Self-care can help us deal with stress: And this is why we should strive to be the best version of ourselves. Taking care of our bodies can help us and even our bodies handle everyday stresses.

What other moms say

If the comment section is any basis, it’s quite obvious that self-care is slowly becoming a norm for our generations’ moms. Here are a few of their replies to the worried mom:

“It’s not, just make sure that you don’t do it in secret. Let your partner know, and tell him you need this and his support to help you recharge. If it helps, stay somewhere quite near to your family para hindi ka din nag-wo-worry masyado kasi parent-guilt is a real pain in the tushy! Iyung dapat nag-eenjoy ka tapos bigla kang tatamaan ng parent-guilt. What I did was to do 12-hour vacations lang during the day because I know mom-guilt would eat at me at night. But if you need an overnight or a weekend to recharge, go lang.”

“Loving yourself will never ever be selfish. Wala kang maayos na maibibigay sa mga mahal mo sa buhay kung ikaw mismo hindi maayos. A few days of rebuilding yourself is just enough. Go for it.”

“Dad here. It is not selfish, especially if you are a mom. You ladies deserve it. We have 2 kids already and I really saw the hardships of being a mom. She sacrificed her other personal goals just to be a full time mom. Kaya when she asked for ‘me time’ last week, I did not hesitate to grant her request. We all deserve a break to recharge. If sa car race nga we have this thing called pit-stop where the car changes tires and fuel up gas so that it can run faster. Ganun din tayo, so that we can bounce back better, we need that break.”

Staycation for one options

To further help you decide, here are a few cozy, affordable, and “guest favorite” Airbnb options around Metro Manila to consider:

Condo in Mandaluyong: Php 1,480 per night

Located in Fame Residences, amenities include swimming pool, gym, TV with Netflix, WIFI, and a fully stocked kitchen

Apartment in Taguig: Php 2,374 per night

Located in Viceroy Residences beside Venice Grand Canal Mall–perfect if you also want to spend a day at the mall. Amenities include swimming pool, TV with Netflix and WIFI.

Tropical condo in Eastwood, QC: Php 1,830 per night

Located at One Eastwood Tower One in Eastwood City, Libis. Amenities include swimming pool, game room, yoga room, playroom and playground for kids, plus high speed Internet access and TV.

Luxury 2 bedroom unit with jacuzzi in Mandaluyong: Php 5,500 night

Soak your worries away in this rental unit located near the Riverside Commercial Strip. Amenities include 2 bedrooms with 2 queen-size beds, a jacuzzi, and unlimited WIFI.

So, go ahead and take a day for self-care, mama. It will definitely benefit you and your family.