‘Families That Want To Adopt Should Do So Because They See The Beauty Of It': What To Expect, How To Prepare For Adoption

In recent years, the Philippines has seen a gradual shift in attitudes towards adoption. What was once a subject enveloped in stigma and misconceptions is slowly becoming more recognized and embraced by society. And the transformation is in no small part thanks to the openness of public figures and celebrity parents, such as Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo and Ryan Agoncillo, LJ and Jimmy Alapag, Claudine Barretto, and Princess Punzalan, who have shared their personal adoption stories, offering inspiration and hope to many families.

The journey is long, but it has already begun.

Yet, for those considering adoption, the path can seem daunting at the outset. Understanding this, Smart Parenting reached out to Chrina Cuna-Henson, Adoption and Foster Care Advocate, Managing Director of ROHEI–a non-profit organization and licensed Child Placement Agency, and member of the Smart Parenting Board of Experts. Chrina offers a wealth of knowledge and support to prospective adoptive parents.

“Why should I consider adoption?”

The adoption journey often begins with a fundamental question: "Why should we consider adoption?" It's a question that speaks to the heart of many families who, for various reasons, are exploring the possibility of welcoming a new member into their homes. Smart Parenting posed this question to Chrina: "I want to have a child and I’ve been trying, but I don’t think I can adopt. Why should I consider adoption?"

Chrina Cuna-Henson emphasized the need to reframe adoption as a natural and beautiful way to build a family. "Well, first of all, in understanding how adoption works and what it that is, we need to start by setting the groundwork by agreeing that adoption is just one of the ways that you can build your family."

It's a mindset shift, she said, "Just the way you would consider having a biological child. Families can also consider growing their family through adoption.”

"I don’t think adoption should be viewed as a Plan B. For families that want to adopt, they should do so because they see the beauty of it. They believe that a child who comes to them through adoption is no less precious than a biological child,” she explained, highlighting hat adoption should be seen as a viable, fulfilling path to parenthood.

"You can love both of them equally, you can love both of them the same. The only difference is how they came into your life," Chrina added.

Cost of adoption

An important consideration in adoption is the cost. When asked about whether adopting a child incurs expenses, Chrina confirmed, “Yes, the simple answer is yes. Just like birthing a biological child would cost you something, the process of adopting a child does have costs around it,” she answered, putting it simply.

However, she also shared some encouraging news regarding recent legislative changes that have made the process more accessible and less costly. "There is good news. The new domestic adoption law in the Philippines has made it somewhat more affordable because it’s done with the legal process that would make you engage a lawyer and so it’s less costly and more accessible. But the truth is, it has costs."

On January 6, 2022, the Domestic Administrative Adoption and Alternative Child Care Act (RA 11642) was signed into law, making the adoption process in the Philippines more efficient and accessible.

For more information on the legal adoption process in the Philippines, visit the National Authority for Child Care (NACC)’s website.

The decision-making process

A critical component of the adoption journey is the decision-making process between spouses. Chrina stressed the importance of mutual agreement and readiness, “Well I would never encourage a couple to enter into this unless they were in full agreement that adoption was right for their family.”

She also offered advice on easing the decision-making process, “My encouragement would be to seek advice from families who have adopted, get to hear their stories as a way of continuing this conversation.”

“But definitely, I would never encourage you to rush into it, if only one person was fully decided that this was right,” she added, highlighting the necessity of unity in this life-changing decision.

Choices in the Adoption Process

Smart Parenting also inquired about the specific adoption process, including certain choices that prospective adoptive parents might have to make, such as the age and gender of the child, as well as openness to adopting a child with special needs.

Chrina explained, “First, is the age of the child you want to adopt. Or the age range. Next is the gender. And next is your openness to special needs.”

“Just want to touch on this a little bit because sometimes we think that special needs just relate to some medical issue or medical concern. But actually, it is much broader in the context of adoption. So I encourage you to have a conversation with your social worker. So you could be more specific about which special needs or concerns around the child history you are open to, or which ones you feel you’re not equipped to handle,” Chrina elaborated on special needs.

Am I ready for adoption?

Lastly, the crucial question, "Am I ready for adoption?" Chrina delves into how to assess readiness for adoption.

“Most of the time, the answer is, you don’t. It’s something that you walk into, despite the questions you might have,” she said. Chrina emphasized the importance of a mindset shift towards adoption—not as a means to fill a void but as a commitment to providing a loving family for a child.

“What’s really important is that you come into the place where you know you’re fully convinced that this is something that you really wanna do. Where you understand that I’m not simply trying to fill the voids in my life, or my desires for a child, with this child through adoption. But I’m actually open to giving my family, giving parents to a child,” Chrina explained.

“And I think that simple mindset shift indicates that our hearts are ready and in the right place to welcome a child into our lives through adoption,” she concluded.

For families considering adoption, the path is filled with considerations, from the practical to the profoundly emotional. Through the insights of experts like Chrina Cuna-Henson and the experiences of those who have embraced adoption, prospective parents can find guidance, encouragement, and a sense of community. Adoption, with its challenges and rewards, offers a unique and beautiful way to build a family, rooted in love, commitment, and understanding.

For more information about adoption, visit the National Authority for Child Care’s website and ROHEI’s website.

Read here for DSWD’s guidelines on adoption.