“Ramdam ko na. Nanay na talaga ako” was how Kylie Padilla summed up her current state of mind.
In an Instagram post this weekend, which had the phrase "accepting full responsibility for how all of this goes," the 24-year-old mom shared how she felt overwhelmed — but enriching — when her household help left suddenly.
“I am experiencing motherhood at full blast nowadays. Since our house helper decided to get married this year and leave us abruptly without any notice,” began Kylie’s Instagram post.
“I thought taking care of an infant was hard enough,” continued the first-time mom. “But to add cleaning, doing laundry and finding time for your partner is going to drive me to go insane.”
She admitted, “I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life.”
Despite her struggles, the actress, who has a 5-month-old baby, Alas Joaquin, with her partner, actor Aljur Abrenica, explained she is also discovering a new appreciation for her new role.
“But I am facing this head on because I feel and know there is something to learn here.It’s a different path but one that sets new levels of understanding and appreciation.”
New moms often talk about the enormous changes in lifestyle and outlook when parenthood arrives. In Kylie's case, it has firmly motivated to keep her emotions under control, which she confessed requires a lot of effort on her part. As she puts it, “Controlling my emotions was always difficult but now you, uhem. I have no choice.”
“After this I can definitely say, I know what being a housewife means. What the sacrifice is, what it means to have self-control and patience when you feel like everything might fall into complete chaos if you lose it. And you can’t go because whatever your mood is everyone else’s mood follows.”
She continues, “Because it’s not just about me anymore, it’s about every member of the family. Your decisions affect the family as a whole.
“At the end of each and every day you appreciate people who are willing to help more, you appreciate the people in the past who give their lives in order to take care of you just the same.
“Motherhood is just an ongoing array of life lessons.”
One lesson she is learning fast: Sacrifice comes with the territory of parenthood. As focused as she is on her priorities as a partner and a mother, Kylie admits it's tough setting aside her passions and interests for the time being.
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“I miss working and creating, and it’s something I cannot leave behind. I don’t think I could leave it forever. I will then, in fact, go nuts.
“But for now, I have to be content with seeing the haggardness and busyness of all this. And accepting the fact that now there is no me. There is a family.”
Kylie's post was well-received by her Instagram followers, and many moms left messages of empathy ("I so feel you") and support ("We women are strong" and "Be kind to yourself") in the comments section.
One read, "I am a full-time mom. I-enjoy mo lang, kaya mo yan. At the end of the day, mafi-feel mo na fulfilled ka. Kasi you accomplished many things."
But perhaps one of the most heartfelt comments was this, "Your child doesn't need a perfect mom. He needs a happy one."