Sleep Regression: What it is and How to Handle it

Sleep – your baby needs it, and most definitely, so do you! 

So when that blessed day comes that your baby sleeps through the whole night without waking you up, it’s a cause for celebration! But hold that halloo – you’re not out of the woods yet. Often, it happens that while you’re just starting to catch up on your sleep, baby suddenly begins waking up again in the middle of the night.

Hello, sleep regression. (That’s the technical term used for when a good sleeper turns bad.) What do you do if it happens to your baby?

1. Co-sleep. Yes, take your baby out of the crib and put him or her into bed with you. Now it’s true that if this is something you’re not already doing, it can be a radical step that would normally be put in as a last if-all-else-fails suggestion. However, we put it in first because it is so effective.  

Dr. Precious “Tippy” Tanchanco, a development pediatrician who holds clinic at the Medical City, agrees. Herself a mother of three kids, she says, “Babies tend to sleep better and more peacefully when they are with their parents. Your warmth, your smell, the sound of your breathing – these make them feel more secure, so even if they wake up in the middle of the night, it’s easier for them to fall back to sleep with little or no help from you.”

She added, though, that it is important to keep the bed environment safe for your baby. “There should be no thick blankets, no comforters. The bed sheets should fit snugly on the bed and should not be easily pulled off. You need to ensure that your baby does not get smothered.”

Co-sleeping also makes it easier for you to do the next item on this list:

 

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2. Breastfeed. If you’re already breastfeeding, you don’t need this section. If you’ve already made the decision to not breastfeed, skip to the next section. 

But if you’re a mom-to-be who’s reading this article to prepare yourself for what lies ahead, here’s something you should hear: mothers who breastfeed generally have less problem with sleep regression – and yes, it’s partly because breastfeeding moms tend to co-sleep with their babies as well.

Take the experience of Gracie Valena, a scientific editor at medical education company Word Consulting Inc. Despite having raised four kids, she recalls no period of time when she ever had difficulty with them waking up in the middle of the night. “Sure, they woke up from time to time,” she said. “But all I did was let them nurse, and we’d both go back to sleep right away.” 

You see, the big difference is that when you offer a bottle, somebody has to mix the formula first. It’s simply not safe to mix the formula before you go to bed, to give it to baby four hours later when he or she wakes up. The milk could have gone bad by that time. And if your baby is too small to hold the bottle, you’ll have to hold it yourself as well. Propping a bottle on a pillow puts baby at risk for choking.

In contrast, breast milk straight from Mommy’s breast is always fresh, always warm, and you don’t have to hold anything. Often, you hardly even have to wake up. Some moms have even mastered the art of breastfeeding baby from either the left or right breast without even changing sides with baby.

But not all moms breastfeed. What if you’re one of those who don’t or, for some reason, can’t?

 

3. Enlist Daddy’s help. “That helped me a lot,” says Theresa Boaquiňa, who had been working full time at an animation company when she had her daughter, Nadine. “She would periodically wake up at night, and she’d be looking for her bottle and would need somebody to pat her back to sleep. It interrupted my rest, yes, but only every other night. The other times, it was my husband’s turn to get up.”

Now you may say, “Oh, my husband can’t/won’t ever do that. When our child was newly born, my husband slept like a rock throughout the night despite the fact that the baby’s wailing could be heard right up to the nurse’s station.” 

That may be so, but the fact is, some dads do learn to become more sensitive to their baby’s murmurings over time. And while there are some dads who would fake sleeping while baby cries, there are also dads who honestly and sincerely would like to wake up but can’t. 

If your husband claims he wants to help but has trouble waking up, give him the benefit of the doubt and accept the task of being his rouser. Let him know before you go to bed that you’re going to tap him when baby needs him. Maybe let him know, too, how hard your “tap” is going to be if he doesn’t wake up, just so he’s forewarned.

 

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4. Consider the environment. It’s possible that your baby has been sleeping well a few months ago because it was December and the weather was comfortable. All of a sudden, your baby is waking up in the middle of the night. Could it be because it is now March and the heat is unbearable?

It’s not impossible. Perhaps you are putting too many covers on your baby. Perhaps the electric fan or the air conditioner’s blower is hitting baby’s face. Perhaps there are mosquitoes biting your baby. Maybe your next-door neighbor has developed a nasty habit of smoking in their backyard at night and the smell goes into baby’s window. All these things could disturb baby’s sleep.

 

5. If your baby is around four months old, wait it out. At this age, the issue is most likely due to developmental changes going on in the brain. Babies at four months simply begin sleeping differently from the way they did when they were younger, and they need time to adjust.

The best you can do when this happens is get all the help you can from your husband, your mom, or your yaya; have your arsenal – that is, your breast or formula mixture – at hand; and wait it out. It may feel impossible, but the fact is, billions of mothers have lived through it. It will usually not last beyond a few weeks.

 

6. If your baby is 8 to 12 months old, adjust your routine. Note that this is the time when your baby is learning a whole lot of skills: sitting, rolling, talking, walking. All these things make your baby feel as giddy as you would feel after you’ve just been to an awarding ceremony where you received seven awards and a substantial cash prize. This exciting period in baby’s life is definitely not conducive to good sleep.

To help prevent sleep regression at this age, try to put baby to bed a little earlier, to give baby more time to relax. Have a set routine. Try warm lavender baths. Massage your baby with aceite de manzanilla; this contains chamomile oil, which is believed to have calming effects and is used even by adults for relieving insomnia. 

Read stories aloud. The sound of their mother’s voice is often enough to lull babies to a peaceful night’s sleep – but be prepared to read aloud for as long as half an hour. Some babies also like to be swaddled, even when they look too big for it. 

 

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7. If your baby is at 18 months, enforce discipline. “When a baby is less than one year old, you can’t really spoil him,” said Dr. Tippy. “But after that, you have to begin training your child to go back to sleep all by himself.”

She reported that with her own children, when they woke up in the middle of the night at this age, she would just talk to them first until they calmed down. If talking did not work, she would pat them. If that also failed, only then would she give them their milk. “I give them a chance to soothe themselves first.”
It has to be a balancing act, though. While you don’t want your child to become dependent on you to calm them down at night, you don’t want to let them reach a point where they are really distressed either. That will only make it harder for them (and you) to get back to sleep.

In other words, you need to know your child’s tolerance level. You need to gauge the situation quickly and adjust your methods fast.

Remember, it’s one thing to discipline your baby to go to bed the first time at night, and another to put a sleepy baby fidgeting in the middle of the night back to sleep. You need to be firm and immovable with the former, despite any tantrums you may initially meet. A sleepy baby fidgeting in the middle of the night needs gentler handling. 

 

8. See the doctor. It is possible that a health condition is causing the disturbance in your baby’s sleep. If it’s just a matter of fever or stuffed nose, it’s easy to detect. 

But other disorders – such as autism or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder – may begin to show their signs after baby’s first months and may be causing the sleep regression. These conditions may not be detectable at this age if you’re not a doctor, so it’s best to see one.

One word of comfort: all children eventually learn to sleep through the night. And yes, while it may seem torturous, parents have lived through it for generations. The key is to keep your body and mind healthy so that you will survive the effects of sleep deprivation. Eat well, play with your kids, take deep breaths, meditate. 

Someday, your children will grow into teenagers who want to do nothing but sleep in their own rooms. Then you’ll fondly look back on these days when they wanted to spend so much time with you, awake.

References:

• Meltzer LJ, Johnson C, Crosette J, Ramos M, Mindell J. Prevalence of diagnosed sleep disorders in pediatric primary care practices. Pediatrics. 2010; 125:e1410-1419.

• Why and How Chamomile Helps You Sleep Better. SleepProblems.org. http://www.sleepproblems.org/sleep-aids/chamomile/. Accessed February 29, 2012.

Photo by allman was here via flickr creative commons