5 Tips To Be an Effective Tutor to Your Big Kid

In tutoring or teaching one’s own big kid, what do you think the primary goal is?  Is it to master the topic and skills at hand?  Not really. In the past decade that I have been tutoring my three kids with school work, three years of which were spent teaching them through a home school program, I have come to realize that this is only the secondary goal.

It’s all About Building Your Big Kid’s Self Esteem
Primarily, we must help boost our big kid’s self-esteem. Once he feels more confident and assured, he will realize that with a little more perseverance and some encouraging help from us, he can indeed learn the topic that is causing him frustration and confusion.  Initially, we must assure our kids that they have not disappointed us by failing to understand the topic in question.  We must also assure them that we are there to help them, rather than chastise them.  Then, deeper and more meaningful learning begins.

There are days, though, that being such a positive and encouraging parent-tutor just doesn’t come easy.  So, here are some tips that I have learned through the years.  I hope you find them useful and encouraging, yourself.

Build Momentum for Mommy
First, give yourself some momentum before the session begins.  Make sure that you allow yourself 15-30 minutes to relax and maybe have a snack and a rejuvenating cup of coffee before your tutoring session. A little prayer and meditation may also help you condition yourself that you will need a load of patience, perseverance, and above all encouraging words to give your little one.  Once, you’ve refreshed yourself from the harried pace of the day, now you can face your young scholar with a smile.  

Be Up to Date
Second, it wouldn’t hurt for you, as a tutor, to also be prepared for the topic that your big kid will be taking up. Try to find out from his teacher, other parents, or from his course outline what lessons he’ll be taking in the weeks to come. Review your own skills on these topics. Also try to keep abreast on the latest techniques used by other parents and teachers to make learning fun and interesting.  There are many teaching aids you can download for free from the internet too. Your own confidence level will get a boost!

 

Click here to read on about having a definite schedule, finding out your child's learning style, and possible learning trends.

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Read on about having a definite schedule, finding out your child's learning style, and possible learning trends.

 

Have a Definite Schedule (1-2 hours)
Third, set aside an hour or two within the day that you can fully give your child.  As much as possible, you should be free from distractions caused by phone calls, the needs of your other kids and household members, or people who may drop by.  Let your child know that this is one of your special time together for the day—just you and him.  That in itself conveys an assurance to your young scholar that you are there for him.  It is also a good idea to choose a time when you are both comfortably alert—maybe after merienda or a bit of play time for him.  Also make sure that the venue is one where there aren’t too many distractions and is comfortable for both of you.

Find Out Your Child’s Learning Style (4 Questions)
Fourth, as the weeks go by, try to define your child’s learning style.  He may be your child and you feel that you know almost everything about him, but a learning style is something that often develops in school.  

Never impose your learning style on him.  Here are some possible trends:
•    Does he learn better in a quiet room or one that has some music?
•    Does he work more efficiently given long stretches of time (i.e. 30 minutes to an hour) or when the time is broken up into smaller intervals (e.g. 15-20 minutes)
•    Can your child keep relatively still while doing his work for long stretches of time or does he move in his chair more often. Don’t get discouraged if his style turns out to be the latter.  My own son, now nine, constantly moves in his seat during our sessions.  Yet, when asked a question which determines his comprehension of the topic at hand, often he is able to answer satisfactorily.  It has been proven that a certain degree of movement during learning doesn’t necessarily become a distraction, especially if it is mild and repetitive such as chewing gum, tapping one’s feet or fingers silently, touching one’s hair, twirling a pen, etc.
•    Lastly, does your young student learn better with some snacks on hand?  Some studies show that there are children and adults alike who absorb lessons best when nibbling on some light snacks (a sandwich, nuts, fruits, gum, juice or milk, etc.).
 
Observe these tendencies in your child, and start from there.

Wear Your Teacher’s Hat
Finally, yet the most important of all, try your best to wear your teacher’s hat, instead of your proud parent’s hat when tutoring your child.  As a parent, this is not an easy skill to master, I must admit.  Accept that your child will be stumped on certain topics.  Try your best never to utter lines such as, “Huh?  But that’s so easy!  You don’t get it?  Why?”  Though I know that such statements don’t come from our lack of love for our child or from a doubt of his capabilities, it may very much translate as such to the vulnerable ego of your scholar.  These only undermine your ultimate goal as a tutor to your child. On the contrary, such statements made by many wonderful and loving parents come precisely from our love, anxiety, and pride for our beloved children.  

Many times, we can’t believe that they can’t seem to tackle and understand the easiest topics.  As proud parents, we always want to see our children excelling.  And he will!  Once, you hold his hand and guide him through this temporary stumbling block in his lessons.  Thus, stop being a proud parent for an hour or two and simply be a teacher to your child—one who can objectively say, “He doesn’t understand this.  He’s having a tough time.  That’s okay.  We can work on this together.”   And thus, your confused and frustrated little student will bloom before your very eyes into the scholar that he is meant to be, and maybe even have fun along the way.


Photo from sxc.hu