Mom Warns Parents: Don’t Let Kids Use Public Restrooms Alone

Do you let your child use a public restroom alone?

As parents, we are proud when our children learn to use the toilet on their own. However, it may be different when it comes to public restrooms. A concerned mom recently took to TikTok to warn parents after a disturbing experience she had in the female restroom at a fast-food restaurant.

"If you have a daughter, kahit saan pa 'yan, kahit wholesome pa 'yung place na 'yun, please, please, please, samahan ninyo yung daughter niyo. Kasi hindi niyo alam kung sino 'yung nakaabang dun," TikTok user @jeangreyvlogs said.

Jean Capistrano, the mom behind the account, gave Smart Parenting permission to share her story. As of this writing, her video has over 1.5 million views.

A mom's disturbing encounter in a public restroom

In the video, Jean recounts what happened during her son's culminating activity for a summer workshop. Before leaving the fast-food restaurant, she went to the restroom. Inside, she noticed one cubicle closed and the other vacant. When she opened the door to the empty stall, she saw someone standing inside.

"It didn't really register in my mind if the person was going to pee or what. The person was just standing there. So I waited. I waited for like 30 seconds. Then I heard the [sound of] pee coming out," Jean said.

When the person came out, Jean was shocked to see that it was a man. She confronted him to ask why he was inside the female restroom. He just said he mistook it for the men's.

Jean continued processing what she saw, "After kong mag-pee, biglang umano yung utak ko. 'Teka lang, bakit hindi nakasarado yung cubicle?' That's one. And then two, nakatayo lang siya dun. Parang he's waiting for something."

She said, "Nung nalaman niyang ako 'yung nandun na pumasok, parang bigla siyang umihi na lang dun. I think he was just standing there for a while. Wala siyang ginagawa." She reported the incident to the staff but the man was nowhere to be found.

What disturbed her most was imagining what could have happened if a young girl had walked into that stall alone.

"If you have a daughter, kahit saan pa yan, kahit wholesome pa 'yung place na 'yun, please, please, please, samahan ninyo 'yung daughter niyo. Kasi hindi niyo alam kung sino 'yung nakaabang dun."

She shared that she had to speak up to warn other parents, especially those who have daughters, "Kung nagkataon na siya yung pumasok at hindi ako,
my gosh, kung ano na lang pumapasok sa utak ko."

Jean ended her video with a heartfelt warning, "To all parents, if you have daughters na ten and below or 11, 12, basta hindi pa teenager, please, samahan ninyo sa CR, please lang. Kasi hindi nyo alam kung ano yung mga nakaabang na tao sa CR."

Watch Jean's full video on TikTok here.

Parents weigh in on children and public restroom use

Over at the Smart Parenting Village Facebook group, we asked what rules and exceptions parents have regarding their children's use of restrooms in establishments. Most shared that they never leave their child unattended, regardless of gender or age.

One member said, "I have a six year old son. Either isasama ko siya sa women's CR or kay Daddy niya sa men's CR. Hindi pwedeng wala siyang kasama. Sa panahon ngayon, mahirap na. Hindi ako kampante."

Another member shared, "I'm not comfortable letting my 7-year-old son use public restrooms by himself. When we're out, he goes to the restroom with either his dad or me. It's just not safe to leave kids alone in public restrooms, especially boys."

A mom of two kids ages 8 and 6 explained, "I don't want them to use public restrooms alone. I don't trust strangers." She emphasized that these days, some people would even cross-dress or pretend to be someone else.

Some parents also shared that they let their children go to the restroom in pairs, "My daughters are 13 and 19. Pag aalis kami, habit na nila na mag-CR muna. Pag sa mall, magkasama silang dalawa. Hintayan sila sa loob ng CR. Pag sa gas station naman, pinapasamahan ko sila sa daddy nila.

Another mom said, "Kahit na alam na ng daughter ko to go by herself, I will still go in with her. I make sure to check the open stall first, then I'll let her use it." She added, "We can never be too sure about public surroundings. Always stay on the safe side."

Join the conversation at Smart Parenting Village here.

How to prepare kids for safer public restroom use

While it's ideal to accompany your child, you can also start preparing them to be safe and vigilant. Experts from Kidpower, a nonprofit focused on child safety, emphasize building safety skills instead of fear. Here are some of their recommended strategies:

1. Teach kids about restroom signs.

Help your kids to understand that gender signs are often more for the adult in charge than for the kids. For instance, a five-year-old girl accompanied by her dad can use the men's restroom, while a young boy with his mom should use the women's restroom.

2. Advocate for your child.

While some establishments wouldn't allow kids be accompanied by their parent of the opposite sex, stay together. If necessary, look for a family restroom, especially if you are not confident that your child can go on their own.

3. Practice 'People Safety Skills'

Kidpower shares that these skills are necessary to build with children as they learn independence, regardless where they are. These skills include:

• Stay calm but vigilant.
• Move away from trouble early.
• Speak up or yell if needed.
• Ask help from trusted or familiar adults.

"Give permission for a child to use a restroom alone only when you have consistently seen and heard your child practice or apply the skills above over time," Erika Leonard of Kidpower said.

Another tip of parents online: Accompany your child to check stalls and ensure it is empty before your child uses it alone while you wait right outside the stall.

A final word

As always, it's better to be safe than sorry. What happened to Mommy Jean could happen to anyone. As much as we want to keep our children close, we are also responsible to empower them with the tools they need to stay safe.