Coed or Exclusive School: The Pros and Cons for Your Big Kid

Is gender exclusivity a factor to learning? 

Deciding on the best big school to send one’s child to is an issue most parents will have to make even before their preschooler leaves the comfort of play school.  And one of the more significant issues some parents may feel strongly about involves choosing between a coed and an exclusive school. 

Ed Montesclaros, a management consultant, and his wife Ditas, a banking executive, have three children, Louie, Chino, and Inna, who all attend a private coed school in Makati. “We chose the school essentially for its academic standards and a strong Catholic education, but never really considered gender as an important factor in our choice,” Ed says. He strongly feels though that “coed leads to a better, more balanced social development, at least for my kids.”

Banking and finance specialist Don Brodeth and his wife Tessa, a freelance visual artist, have decided to send their three kids, Mara, Michael, and Dale, to a coed school in Makati as well.  Don shares, “We primarily considered the school for its academic reputation, proximity, and values formation, and not really so much whether it was coed or not.” 

Teta Blanco, a young lawyer with three sons, four-year-old Paco, two-year-old Robbie, and one-year-old Richie, wants his boys in an exclusive school, however, and his top choice is  Ateneo—his own alma mater. Teta explains, “I have never really considered any other school for my sons. But I have always valued my own experiences in the all-boys’ school because it let me build an ‘old-boy network’. There are more enduring ties in all-boys’ schools, with no distractions from the opposite sex.” 

For many parents, practical reasons such as the school’s proximity, or more so, its affordability, become the most significant considerations for choosing a school. Yet for others, the social ad-vantages form part of the deliberations.

In the end, the advantages and disadvantages of coed schools and same-sex schools may even out where social and academic problems are con-cerned. In truth, the social, academic, or discipline problems that eventually manifest in the elementary or high school years are common to both types of schools.

 

Click here to learn more about gender as an issue for parents.

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Must gender be AN issue?

Should gender really be an issue when parents choose their children’s schools?  Dr. Jose Alberto Reyes, a counseling and social psychologist from De La Salle University, thinks otherwise. “If you ask what the schema parents have in choosing a school involves, gender may not at all be at the top of the list. It may be coincidental however, that some good schools just happen to be exclusive and are either all-girls or all-boys. This may be traced historically too, that religious schools have provided better quality in the past, although this perception may have changed over time.”

Reyes adds, “I would think that Filipino parents aren’t really concerned about the possible impact of coed or same sex schools unless they’re made to think about it.  Parents tend to prioritize family traditions and prestige more than gender issues.”

He advises, “It does not really matter where a child eventually studies, as long as the child is taught to be gender sensitive. Parents need to recognize the value of gender sensitivity—perspective-taking and developing empathy. Children may, for instance, be in a coed school, but likewise taught very rigid notions of masculinity and femininity. And so, the school need not be the only place for opportunities to learn about the opposite sex.”

 

The right reasons

Schools, whether coed or not, will have to be responsive to the changing social roles of men and women. Likewise, schools and parents need to appreciate the opportunities in both the academic arena and co-curricular arena that boys and girls should be able to enjoy equally—whether in a separate or coed school. 

In the end, parents need to be able to choose the right school for the right reasons—essentially for the quality of academic instruction or the value formation program the school offers. Reyes thus advises, “When you look for schools, parents should consider the quality of instruction. Gender issues should not be a top priority.” 

 

School selection

On the gender issue, our experts say parents should:

• Prioritize concerns. Weigh the pros and cons for each school you’ve chosen. Remember that your primary consideration should be academic reputation and value formation. 
• Ask about curricular and co-curricular programs.  If it is a separate school, ask about how students are given opportunities to interact with the opposite sex. Are there activities for meeting students from other schools?  What avenues for learning skills that boys or girls enjoy can the school offer?
• Talk about their policies.  Ask a counselor or the principal about social or academic problems that may have occurred over time that relate to gender issues.
• Reflect on your views about gender sensitivity. Think about what role models you would like your own children to have about gender-related roles. Then evaluate which school seems to embody these views the best.

 

Click here to learn more about the respective strengths of coed and exclusive schools.

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Here we highlight the strengths of each type of school.

Coed Curriculum stereotyping. One of the most recognized disadvantages of separate schools includes narrow academic and co-curricular programs that may be too gender-stereotypical. All-girls’ schools, for example, may not readily give their students opportunities to work on activities often associated with boys, such as mechanics and woodworking. Students at all-boys’ schools may have limited opportunities to appreciate some basic life skills like home economics or cooking.  Hence, separate schools may in fact be generating more stereotypes about what girls and boys can and cannot do. Social balance. There are also social advantages that go with coed schools. Fr. Cornelius Ysulat, a Catholic priest who runs a Diocesan school in the province, says, “Students, especially in basic education (elementary and high school), should grow up in the company of both genders. It is more psychologically balanced to learn to socially interact with peers of both genders.” Thus, in coed schools, children learn to appreciate the value of interacting with the opposite sex in developmen-tally and socially adaptive ways.  Level playing field. In coed schools, academic programs become less stereotypical, allowing both boys and girls to engage in the same types of learning activities. The playing field is more or less made equal, so to speak.  Thus, both boys and girls value the competition of working together on academic programs.

Exclusive No distractions. Kathleen Vail, an associate editor of the American School Board Journal, writes in the Education Digest that proponents of same-sex schools in the U.S. argue that all-boys or all-girls schools “eliminate the distraction of the opposite sex and allow teachers to accommodate boys’ and girls’ supposedly different learning styles.” Most people, assume too, that it is much easier for kids to engage with peers who share the same interests. Thus, the advantage of separate schools seems to be that academic achievement is presumably much higher as girls and boys have less distractions from impressing the opposite sex.  Vail further suggests that some benefits of same-sex schools are “somewhat intangible—a better, safer school atmosphere, more school pride and spirit, and higher self-esteem.” Elite appeal. Some parents tend to agree with Vail’s assumptions that being in an all-boys’ or all-girls’ school brings with it a stronger sense of pride. Hence, this may explain why many parents send their children to long-established convent schools, often to their alma mater. Filipino parents also tend to recognize the elitist flair of the convent school or of the boarding school phenomenon.  Safer environment. Lou Krainz, a Filipino-American college professor in Education and Theology temporarily assigned at De La Salle University, has this to say, “In the United States, girls in exclusive schools excel more than in separate schools. Maybe because there is no peer pressure thus, creating for a safer environment where girls are not teased nor bullied by boys.”

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