5 Signs your Child may be having Problems in School

Starting school for the very first time can be an exciting and, at the same time, very traumatizing experience for your preschooler. This period of adjustment comes at a time that your child is also testing boundaries of his actions and his new sense of independence. As a result, his behavior may not exactly be exemplary and may even be disruptive to his other classmates. Here are five signs your child may be having problems in school, and what you can do to help address these.

1.    Tantrums
Tantrums typically manifest during a child’s toddler years. They are his way of expressing frustration over things that he cannot control. The manifestations vary, from lying on the floor kicking and screaming, to bawling. Being used to daily routines, they might get overwhelmed, frightened or confused when certain things don’t go the way they are accustomed to.

Preschool, in particular, is a large shift from the way little kids live their everyday lives. It requires them to pay attention, to socialize, and to be obedient to their teachers. When told to do something they don’t want to do, a child will throw a tantrum to test an adult’s patience.

What parents and educators can do is to try to determine the cause of the tantrums and observe its patterns. Keep calm and show the child that you understand what he’s feeling, and that you are willing to help. Let him enjoy a sense of independence; let him have an active participation in helping him deal with his problem and give him time to process his emotions.

 

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2.    Non-compliance
Non-compliance or defiance is another sign that preschoolers may be having problems in school. This is when your child refuses to follow instructions, expressing his defiance to authority figures. He does not want to be controlled. He does not want to socialize or experiment when it comes to playing. He wants to be left alone.

Dr. James Sutton, a psychologist and book author of “If My Kid’s So Nice…Why’s He Driving Me Crazy?”, suggests short affirmations. Affirm just how much your child means to you in a simple way, and then follow it with a non-related question, leave the room, or do something else suddenly. This will make responding to what you said less awkward because you don’t really hang around to hear what he has to say anymore.

Another way is to offer choices. Give the child not just one but several options when it comes to performing certain tasks so they don’t feel limited with what you tell them to do.

Discipline swiftly. Take charge and don’t dwell on explaining how what he did made you feel. Show that you are the parent and that you love him but certain actions have certain consequences.

3.    Aggression
To sum this negative behavior up, think of it as your child saying “I win, you lose.” Your child always wants to be right, no matter what he does. He will insist that whatever he believes in, as long as it’s different from yours, is right.

Introduce ways for him to express himself or distract himself, such as letting him read books or watch an educational program. Help your child develop the value of patience, listening, and managing his anger through your positive example. Try positive reinforcement. Reward him or praise him whenever he does something properly or in a non-aggressive manner.

 

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4.    Short attention span / inattentiveness
Your child is easily distracted and has difficulty concentrating on what the teacher is saying or what he has to do. This may be because of a child’s learning difficulty with a particular subject, as in math, for example.

Make sure to pay attention to and recognize the child’s strengths, which can help increase their attentiveness in class. Be extra patient and find out what things she enjoys, which can be applied to her learning process at school.

5.    Problems with relations
Not interacting with his classmates may be a sign of a problem.  It stems from being unfamiliar with an environment yet needing to socialize with other children. He may choose to be by himself at most times or refuse to share toys. Help your child settle into his new environment by arranging play dates with just one playmate initially, adding more as he begins to show signs of being at ease. He’ll soon learn that it is a fun experience to be with someone he can play with and interact with.


Sources:
•    April 2007. R.J. Fetsch and B. Jacobson. “Children’s Anger and Tantrums” Ext.colostate.edu
•    “The Defiant Child” Life.familyeducation.com
•    James D. Sutton. “When the Kid Who Can Won’t” Justmommies.com
•    Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D. “Tips for Dealing with Defiant Children” Mindpub.com
•    Kimberly L. Keith. “My Child Has a Problem – Aggression” Childparenting.about.com
•    “The Inattentive Child: Parenting Strategies” Life.familyeducation.com
•    Peggy Gisler, Ed. S. and Marge Eberts, Ed. S. “Preschool and Socializing Options” School.familyeducation.com

Photography by Jake Versoza