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They Say We're 'Crisis Schooling.' That Means Stop Being Hard On Yourself
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  • What are you realizing and learning amid the COVID-19 pandemic? We would love to hear your stories. Email us at smartparenting2013@gmail.com with the subject "Real Parenting." Click here to read more 'Real Parenting' stories.

    COVID-19, which really did a number on parents who are already in perpetual paranoid mode, has forced kids all over the globe to become remote learners. As one mom-teacher wrote, it is a situation “beyond a difficult” for many reasons. It doesn’t surprise us that our stories on “mom rage” and “parental burnout” are being read often these days.

    Humor, however, can help save the day or at least afford us some relief. You have probably seen that popular meme of Bea Alonzo as her character Bobbie in Four Weddings and a Funeral. It has been used to poke fun at situations of disbelief and those “huh?” moments.

    Recently, the photo was again used to capture a parenting struggle amid the COVID-19 pandemic. “Bakit feeling ko ako ang naka-enroll?”

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    Parents virtually nodded in unison. “Ako yung aligaga” and “Ako yung ninerbyos” were the common refrains. But remote learning has been doling out lessons to moms and dads as well.

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    Sharm Miguel-Macalua, a member of our Smart Parenting Mom Network, shared what happened during her son’s “first day” of school.

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    “I prepared everything for Kiefer’s first day. Prepared his study nook, his clothes, his school supplies, etc. Naka-gel pa nga para clean look!

    “Logged in...Waited for 10 minutes. Logged out. Too early...Checked the email. Logged in again. Read the instructions carefully. Clicked the link. Waited again.

    “Checked the email again if it’s the right ID. Logged out again. Checked the connections. Read the email for the nth time. Logged in again. Waited for 5 minutes. Checked the time. What’s wrong kaya? 

    “Then I checked the date! Ok, I just realized that it wasn’t his first day today! Tomorrow pa pala! Lol

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    “Anyway, Kiefer was really excited to attend his first day. So, I just let him use the laptop and pretended the school already started. Hahaha.”

    The lesson for moms and dads: Try to stay calm when reading instructions (we say this but we know it is hard for us to stay relaxed, too). Remember you are not the one taking the class!

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    Parents are always nervous about how well their kids do in a situation. So they try their best to motivate their child, but sometimes it can backfire.

    One mom admitted she eavesdropped on her son’s online classes. One time, a teacher asked the class a question. She couldn’t help herself — she gestured to her son to speak up. Her son’s eyes widened in exasperation and shook his head several times that meant, “Stop it, Mom.”

    Safe to say, mom and son were frustrated at each other.

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    The lesson for moms and dads: Our kids listen and follow the boundaries we establish. That means they expect the same from us when they ask for their limits. We need to listen and take it seriously.

    Respecting your child’s boundaries shows you value his capability, and independence.

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    You’re probably thinking you do give your child a healthy amount of space and privacy. But, according to Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, dismissing children’s boundaries is often something grown-ups do all the time without even realizing it.

    Dr. Busman explains, “If a child says she hates being tickled or picked up, don’t say, ‘Oh come on, you don’t really hate it.’ Instead say, ‘I hear you and I won’t do it again.’”

    That said, we are in a pandemic, and none of us has ever faced anything like this before. We are in “crisis schooling,” as a New York Times article points out. We are taking a crash course on being a teacher, and we feel ill-equipped.

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    The lesson for moms and dads: Stop thinking you probably get a C or D on your parenting. No one is grading you! Stop being hard on yourself. Right now, the most important thing is we get another day to try again.

    Chin up, moms and dads!

    Looking for learn-at-home options and wondering about tuition fee? Head to Smart Parenting Classroom now! 

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