Raise your hand if you can relate: There’s a growing concern among parents that kids today are likely to take longer to develop a sense of independence, especially now that they’re cooped up at home and have limited interactions with other children their age.
So how can moms and dads help their little ones grow up to be more independent and make their own decisions during this complicated time? According to former beauty queen Lara Quigaman and actor husband Marco Alcaraz—parents to three wonderful boys under the age of 10—it’s important to find the right balance between enabling and the occasional handholding.
In the third episode of Raising IQ & EQ-Ready Kids, a new parenting podcast series from Enfagrow A+ Four Nurapro and Smart Parenting, host Angel Jacob sat down with the mom-and-dad team to discuss the role IQ and EQ play in a child’s decision-making process, among others. Here’s a recap of what they shared during the episode:
It starts with discipline and conditioning.
Both Lara and Marco agree that their eldest, Noah, is already showing signs of independence at his age, and they believe that discipline has a lot to do with it.
One good example of this is his body clock—prior to the lockdown era, Noah was already conditioned to wake up as early as 5 am in order to catch the school bus. Now that he no longer needs to, the couple lets their child decide how early he wants to get out of bed.
“He really knows his schedule,” Lara quips. “Ngayon, even when we want him to sleep in and take his time, maaga na rin talaga siya nagigising because he was disciplined early on. Noah has become very time-conscious; we don’t have to tell him to get ready for school.”
Marco recalls: “Not too long ago nga, nag-staycation kami for his birthday. Ako pa ang nagsasabi na, ‘anak, huwag ka na pumasok, mag-swimming tayo. Minsan lang naman.’ Ang sabi niya, ‘no, dad, I need to go to online class.’ Haha!”
Give them the context they need before letting them decide.
“Kids today are so smart, they ask a lot of questions,” Marco points out. “Kaya we talk to them as if hindi sila batang-bata. We explain to them kung ano ang mangyayari if they do or don’t do something.”
Lara adds: “We tell them, ‘you can do what you want, pero sa lahat ng bagay, may consequences.’ We also let them try things. Kung hindi naman makakasama, we allow our kids to try it. Nakatulong ‘yun in making them feel confident.”
Angel, herself a mom, agrees. “Sometimes, we have to allow them to be kids! As parents, siyempre gusto natin na palaging ligtas ang mga bata. We want them to make smart and safe decisions, but we also have to trust that they can make that decision on their own.”
Consistency among household members is vital.
Conflicting influences from other members of the household—like the kids’ grandparents and babysitters—are also something the couple tries to manage. “Sa mga kasama namin sa bahay, we tell them how we want to raise our children,” says Lara. “Dapat iisa tayo. Kapag sinabi namin na bawal, dapat hindi rin sila papayag. Or vice versa. We have to be united in the house para consistent ang makukuhang influence ng mga bata.”
She also boils it down to proper communication. “Kailangan talaga ng maayos na pag-uusap, to have that conversation with the elders. For example, I always tell my mom, ‘ito talaga ang way namin. We respect you, but I hope you can also respect our decision to raise our child this way.’”
Be mindful of their nutrition intake.
Of course, it’s also important that a child gets the right amount of nutrition and vitamins in order for them to develop today and become more likely to be successful later on in life. IQ and EQ, after all, are key factors in a child’s ability to be confident, independent, and disciplined.
You can help set up your kids for future success by nourishing them with nutritious foods that help with their IQ and EQ development. Enfagrow A+ Four Nurapro, for example, is the only milk formulated with a powerful combination of Milk Fat Globule Membrane (MFGM) and DHA, both of which help develop their cognitive skills and EQ, along with proper stimulation and nutrition. It also has HMO 2 FL dual prebiotics that aid in boosting their immune system.
Learn more about how Enfagrow A+ Four Nurapro helps kids develop both IQ and EQ by following them on Facebook and Instagram. For more insights from other parents, follow the Raising IQ & EQ Ready Kids podcast on Spotify. You can also join Enfagrow A+ Four Nurapro's Club Mama community by signing up here!
