Six Reasons Why Preschoolers Lie

Whether it’s a glass of spilled milk, an unexplained toy or clothing carelessly scattered, you may find instances where your preschooler is bound to stretch the truth, and in some cases, take it beyond what is plausible.  Before you call in a child psychiatrist, take stock of things first—children don’t normally lie with malicious intent.  During this stage of emotional and mental development, your child may have a bit of trouble figuring out what is fact from fiction.  Here are some reasons why preschoolers lie:

1. To Take Control of a Situation – When your child says that he wasn’t the one who spilled toyo all over your freshly-washed Ilocano blanket, it’s his way of trying to regain some of the control that he lost in the situation.  It must have been a picture of dread – toyo spattering everywhere, a dark stain growing larger and larger on a nice, white blanket, mommy’s face contorting into a mask of rage. To alleviate the helplessness, denial may be a result.

2. Vivid Imagination – As mentioned earlier, preschoolers have some difficulty discerning fact from fantasy. Your child’s creative juices are practically overflowing and he may really believe that his dream of being a Jedi Knight in a starship was in fact, something that happened. It is at this age where your child may interact with imaginary friends and tell you he has been to the far side of the moon or Narnia or even Bayombong.

3. To Get Your Attention – If you are a very busy mommy who has little time to spare, your preschooler may have concluded that saying monsters made his room a mess is a way to get a response out of you.  If he’s so hungry for attention, he might not even care if you react in anger or frustration.  This kind of lying satisfies that emotional craving which may continue if he gets what he wants from you.  

Click here to learn more reasons why preschoolers lie.

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Here are more reasons why preschoolers lie.

4. Wishful Thinking – When my sister was around four years old, she once flushed my mother’s pantyhose down the toilet.  When my mom found out, she was livid but my sister kept denying she did so even though my other sister and I caught her in the act.  She thoroughly convinced herself that she wasn’t the one responsible (nowadays, she doesn’t remember out of shame but that’s another story) so much so that she truly believed that she didn’t do it.  It hurt her to know that she made our mom so mad and that’s why she altered her perception of the facts in her head.   

5. Boosting Self-Esteem – Boasting of one’s accomplishments makes your child feel important—it is not borne of conceit or arrogance (not yet, at least).  Making up fanciful achievements such as running a bazillion miles or lifting your SUV over his head are ways of seeking your admiration and approval. It’s just way for him to boost his self-esteem. As preschoolers can’t really gauge what’s possible and what isn’t, erring on the side of exaggeration may be a safer bet according to a child’s logic.

6. Memory Lapse – Like people hitting past forty and beyond, preschoolers have lousy memories (it may also be the reason why when something awful happens to them, they can forget it more easily than adults).  It’s also because preschoolers are easily distracted.  When your little girl says she can’t recall where she put the bright purple Barney doll you bought her yesterday, she isn’t trying to cover up her carelessness.  She may really have forgotten.

Source:
•    Anne Krueger, Lying: Why It Happens and What To Do About It

Want to know how to deal with a child who’s lying? Check out this article: How To Deal With Your Preschooler’s Lying

Photography by Jake Verzosa