5 Ways To Avoid The Perils of Being Supermom

“Wow! You’re such a supermom!” That’s usually taken as a compliment. However, Supermom doesn’t really exist. Behind that confident exterior, any mom, whether she’s super or not, has a lot of plates spinning in the air. Being great at everything can take its toll even on the most accomplished mom. If you change your context from being great at everything to being great at a few but critical things, it will really help loosen you up and create a joyful home life for yourself.


Choose relationships over tasks and chores
You’re hurrying up with the dishes, you’re expecting guests and all of a sudden, your little one deliberately spills milk on the floor.  It’s easy to snap at your child and then attend to your guests. After all, you’ll have time later and your guests are waiting. This is the perfect time to let go of being a Supermom by attending to one thing at a time.  There’s a win-win situation somewhere here but if you just don’t have time and energy, just choose one thing. And that one thing is your relationship with your child. Let your household chores get delayed, let your tasks slip a little (or a lot), as long as your child gets the best of you and not what’s left of you.


Organize around your big commitments
If you’ve made a commitment to setting aside time for your kids, let the rest of your day revolve around that commitment instead of squeezing it in. For moms who tutor their kids, don’t pressure yourselves further by taking home more work. Your work will eventually get done but your child is a work in progress and a fixed schedule with him will let him know that you’re there for him. It’s not the quantity of time but the quality of time that you give him.

Click here to read more ways on how to avoid the perils of being a supermom.

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Read more ways on how to avoid the perils of being a supermom.

Allow yourself to be helped
Perfection isn’t required in parenting. Far from it. Caring, bonding and abundant laughter are what mark a happy home and not how tastefully it’s furnished and maintained.  So, let go and allow yourself to be helped by others. You don’t have to personally ensure that everything is in place at home. Spread the chores around and talk to your spouse or partner if you’re feeling overwhelmed. A happy mom is still way better than a Supermom.


Listen to your kids first
You’ll hear a lot of news and well-meaning advice but nothing beats listening to your kids first. If they miss you, make the time for them. If they want to tell you their nth story, show them that you’re all ears. Try not to dilute your attention with TV, the internet, and other conversations. Save your best interactions for your family. If you need a super power, let it be the power to listen to your kids and that’s all you need.


Live from moment to moment
Of course, as a responsible parent, you have the long term planned out. But that doesn’t mean you don’t make allowances for things that come at you from the left field. Late nights, sickness and unplanned emergencies are likely to happen when you least expect them. Give yourself permission to feel bad…for a while. But if you live with the perspective that there’s no such thing as an absolute, that there’s always tomorrow and, yes, “that this, too, shall pass” then you’re prepared to stand up again after something goes wrong. Don’t beat yourself up. Remember, you’re not Supermom. You’re someone’s mom and that someone loves you, no matter what mistakes you make.

If you’ve been called Supermom, relish it as one of the many things you could be but remember that you have the choice to focus on what really counts. Being Supermom might pressure you into doing everything for everyone all at the same time. Relax. Choose relationships over getting chores and tasks done, organize around your commitment to your loved ones, delegate whenever you can, listen intently to the people that matter (your kids!) and live from one moment to the next.


Photography by Jay Tablante