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How to Discipline Your Child, According to Bianca Gonzalez's Mom-in-Law Who Raised 6 Kids
PHOTO BY screenshot from @iamsuperbianca/YouTube
  • The only way anyone can learn to be a parent is by being one. In a way, motherhood is like on-the-job training. Moms can only truly learn and develop their parenting style by going through the ups and downs of raising a child. But it doesn’t hurt to hear out how other moms, particularly those you respect and trust, have done it.

    In a “Paano Ba ‘To” video recently uploaded to her YouTube channel (watch it below), television host Bianca Gonzalez-Intal interviewed her mother-in-law, Ning Intal, about her experience as a mother. Ning has raised five boys and one girl while also working full time. Bianca’s husband, professional basketball player JC Intal, is the second in the family.

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    How to discipline kids

    Bianca discussed with her mother-in-law various effective ways to discipline kids, which the TV host said might help her in raising daughters Lucia and Carmen. Here were Ning Intal’s top five tips:


    1. Adjust your discipline method according to your child’s personality.

    Ning pointed out that because all children are unique, an effective method of disciplining one child may not necessarily work for his sibling. Moms need to take the time to know their kids’ quirks and discover the best way to talk and connect with them.

    “Mayroong approach na kailangan dadalhin ko [yung anak ko] sa isang room. Doon ko siya kakausapin, doon ko sasabihin kung anong consequences ng mga nagawa niya,” she said.

    2. Make your child realize what he did wrong.

    Children must learn to be responsible for their actions and learn from their mistakes, and Ning made sure her kids understand the consequences of their actions.

    “Dapat tanungin mo, kasi marerealize nila na may mali sila, or i-explain mo rin. Kung nakakabata, sasabihin ko sa kaniya kung anong nangyari, anong naging resulta, so malalaman nila,” she explains.

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    3. Present a united front with your husband.

    Both parents must not only be aligned on their discipline methods; they should also cooperate and support one another when one parent is disciplining a child.

    “Dapat nagkakaintindihan din ang parents sa pagdidisiplina,” Ning said. “Kung gaano ka-seryoso ‘yung pagdidisiplina ng mother, ganoon din dapat [yung father], kasi hindi maniniwala [ang mga anak] kung hindi natin gagawin ‘yun.”

    4. Show your child you don’t approve of what he did.

    Take disciplining your kids seriously. Children may not understand in the beginning that what they did was wrong. They may try to laugh it off or appease you, but Ning said that in her experience, it’s necessary to let your kids see your disapproval or disappointment.

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    Ning recalled an incident with her four boys when she had to impress on them the gravity of the situation. “Pinatayo ko talaga yung apat. Hindi sila umuupo, hindi sila sasandal. Pina-explain ko isa-isa,” she said. “Alam mo kung sino ‘yung seryosong sumasagot? ‘Yung bunso. ‘Yung tatlong panganay, tatawa-tawa lang, parang hindi nila sineseryoso.

    “Kailangan seryoso tayo. ‘Pag ganoon—tatawa-tawa—akala nila, okay lang na may ginagawang mali,” she added.

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    5. Pray for patience.

    Disciplining is a process, and moms will need to strengthen their resolve, be more patient, and learn to be more understanding. For this mother of six, having faith helps.
    “Magdadasal ka talaga, eh. Hihingi ka ng strength na makayanan mo pa. Importante talaga ang dasal,” Ning said.

    Being a parent means you have to make sure your children aren’t just healthy physically, you also have to take into account their emotional, psychological, and social development.

    According to the Canadian Pediatric Society, “Disciplining children is one of the most important yet difficult responsibilities of parenting, and there are no shortcuts.” Its goal is to make sure kids will grow up to become “emotionally mature adults.”

    For Ning Intal, teaching kids discipline is not just right for the child, it’s good for the parents, too.

    “Importante kasi na ‘yung ginawa natin para sa mga anak natin ibinabalik nila. Mafi-feel mo ‘yun, ‘yung pag-aruga mo sa kanila, ‘yung pagmamahal … ‘yun ang ibabalik nila sa iyo,” she said.

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