This Book By A Breast Cancer Warrior Explains Breast Cancer To Kids

Jaymee Wins, a familiar face in Philippine television during the mid-2000s may be more familiar to parents as Jaymee Joaquin. An actress, model and host, Jaymee decided to pack her bags and leave the sparkling limelight of show business to travel the world.

She’s been to 24 countries, lived in Australia for a year, then in Spain for another four years before settling in San Diego, California, USA. Then just like a major plot twist in a movie, she was diagnosed with Stage 2B breast cancer in 2016. She was just 36 years old.

“Ang tagal kong in-denial. Parang hindi ko siya sineryoso. Feeling ko, parang tatanggalin lang yan, tapos na. Feeling ko hindi siya big deal, parang hindi nag-sink in,” Jaymee recollects the moment she first heard that she has breast cancer.

Breast Cancer Warrior at 36

When the doctors explained to her that she needs to undergo treatments like chemotherapy, it was when it got real for her. “You mean like vomiting, and losing your hair like the ones we watch in TV?,” she asked her doctor, and he said yes.

It was the moment of awakening for Jaymee, “This is real. At that time I had such long hair. I really love my long hair, I love how I look at that time. I’m very much at the prime of my 30s. Parang surreal. Kasi magsisimula sa hair, then I’ll have to stop working ‘coz I’ll feel sick. My life will literally be put on hold.”

After a year of chemotherapies and treatments in 2017, she was declared cancer-free. Although it was quite a journey, Jaymee honestly shared her inner thoughts when she was declared ‘no evidence of disease’, “Yung first cancer, parang hindi pa ko totally nag-mature. Parang may pride pa nga eh. Parang, ‘Yay, I beat cancer!’”

“But in reality, inside, I really felt insecure. I have permanent scar in my breast, I have to cut my hair. Kino-compensate ko lang siya outside with things like, ‘I’m a cancer-fighter, bagay sakin ang short hair.” Jaymee continued to share her struggles.

Stage 4: 'Para talaga akong nauntog'

However, in 2019, Jaymee’s breast cancer metastasized and she was bumped into Stage 4. “Nung bumalik siya, ito para talaga akong nauntog. Kasi siguro sa una, para lang akong pinalo pero wala pa ding nagbago. But this one was different. I fell into severe depression,” she shared.

She went through a difficult time during her second diagnosis which also came during the start of the pandemic. It was a roller coaster of emotions for her--anger, depression, bitterness, bargaining.

'I noticed na kapag nagkakaron ng physical change, yun yung unang unang nakikita ng bata... Let’s start explaining.. Na hindi ibig sabihin na na-kalbo, mamamatay na agad.'

“But I’m thankful for the people around me who stayed with me. I pushed people away at that time due to my arrogance. But I think I matured already. I still have my immature moments, but I grew a lot. The more it kept coming back, the more I get humbled down.” Jaymee shared.

This was when she started sharing her journey and advocacy on social media. For Jaymee, it was not just about sharing her story to others, but it also counted as her personal accountability. “There are people looking up to me, and I want to make them and myself proud,” Jaymee added, pointing out to her social media platforms.

Moreover, her whole journey with breast cancer made her realize what’s really important in life, “Before the diagnosis, I was very superficial. When you were young, you like the shiny things, you like the glorious things. You like recognition and validation. But after cancer, now, I value connection, genuine people. I value feeling good, not just looking good. Now I know what worthy is.”

'No-Hair Mama, Don’t Care': A Book For Kids

As part of Jaymee’s advocacy, she published a book entitled No-Hair Mama, Don’t Care which hopes to help cancer patients, especially moms, explain their conditions to children--in the most heartwarming way. 

“It’s inspired by the children in my life. Kasi I noticed na kapag nagkakaron ng physical change, yun yung unang unang nakikita ng bata. Kasi yung nararamdaman natin kaya namang itago eh, you can always sound cheerful. But going bald, getting pale, changing your style, nakaka-disorient sa bata,” Jaymee shared as her inspiration for her book.

Not only for moms, but also for moms-at-heart like Jaymee, her second book is intended to provide an illustration and explanation about what happens with someone who has cancer. 

RELATED: ‘Every Bad Day Is Better Than No Day’: Breast Cancer Warrior Arms Daughters For The Future

“I work at a public library here in San Diego and did some research. Parang ang dami ko kasing nakita na books about cancer na masyadong malungkot, geared towards end of life kaagad. Which is hindi naman ganun palagi,” Jaymee shared that she wanted to have a ‘lighter’ approach towards the reality of cancer and letting kids understand it. 

She continued, “Let’s start explaining the first stages muna. Na hindi ibig sabihin na na-kalbo, mamamatay na agad. I think I wanted to contribute in the literature that cancer can just be a part of life. It doesn’t have to be too serious that it autmotatically includes a death sentence.”

'Don’t let go of yourself just because you have a disease. You’re still you. I’m still Jaymee. I’m not cancer.'

She also sought her mom friends’ help about communicating to kids, and how to explain things simply to them. 
“It’s light and just FYI for the kids, specifically for the initial stages of cancer,” Jaymee described No-Hair Mama Don’t Care.

She also published a book in 2021 entitled That Sh*t Called Cancer, which is a memoir of her breast cancer journey.

Message to Cancer Warriors

Smart Parenting asked Jaymee Wins what she wants to say to anyone battling cancer right now, “Cancer is a very complicated disease. I’m not gonna lie, it’s not an easy journey. It takes time to fully accept it and to fully understand how to live with it.”

RELATED: This Doctor Says Breast Cancer Should Not Be a Death Sentence

“But I think you really need to be very, very patient in the process. Para siyang living with the enemy. And eventually, you’ll learn how to co-exist with it peacefully,” she continued to share.

“It takes time, patience and complete self-awareness.” She encourages anyone who’s battling cancer or any other disease, “Don’t let go of yourself just because you have a disease. You’re still you. I’m still Jaymee. I’m not cancer. I’m not a cancer patient. I’m not a cancer cell. I’m Jaymee.”

“You have to keep reminding yourself who you are and who you were before the diagnosis. Don’t let cancer consume you.”

Jaymee Wins shares her journey with breast cancer on Instagram and her website. Check this link to know more about Jaymee's books.