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'Kuya, Mabaho Ka' or 13 Times Parents Wanted to Die of Embarrassment
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  • Kids don’t lie — and they also don’t have a filter or show restraint. In fact, they’re so brutally honest that parents often find themselves in the most embarrassing situations once the kids open their mouths.

    We stumbled upon a gem of a thread on our Facebook Group Smart Parenting Village where one mom asked: What is the most embarrassing moment you experienced with your toddler in public? The answers had us in stitches — kids really say the darndest things! —  so, with their permission, we thought we’d share them with you.

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    Here are 13 of the funniest stories of kids being brutally honest.

    1. My toddler held a pack of condoms and shouted: “Mommy, you’re using this ‘di ba?”

    “My toddler and I went to a convenience store and at the counter, my toddler saw a pack of condoms. She picked it up and said, “Mommy, you’re using this diba?”

    “OMG! The people in line were already smirking so to avoid further embarrassment, I asked her, “Where does mommy put it?” and she replied, “On your back and shoulder!” She thought it was a pain patch!” — Hazel Reyes

    2. “Mommy, may ninja!”

    “When my firstborn was a toddler, he saw a Muslim woman clad in black inside the mall. He turned to me, pointed at the woman and shouted, ‘Mommy, o, may ninja!’”  — Jonah Madrigallos

    3. “Mommy, are you pooping?”

    “Super haba ng pila sa CR ng girls kasi isa lang ang cubicle. When it was my turn, my toddler shouted, ‘Mommy, are you pooping? Want to poop?’ Ayoko na lumabas ng cubicle. ☹” — Joyce Cai

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    4. “Mommy, gusto ko na ng ibang daddy.”

    We were at a drugstore lining up at the counter for my toddler’s milk. He was about to throw a tantrum, and he suddenly said, “Mommy, hindi ko na love si Daddy. Gusto ko na ng ibang daddy, hanap ka na ng ibang daddy.” Everybody was staring at us. I was so embarrassed I didn’t know how to reply to my child! — Anne Zaragosa Bensay

    5. “Mama, si Valak o!”

    “While waiting in line at the restroom, my baby saw nuns coming in. He shouted, ‘Mama, si Valak*, oh!’” —Charlene Garcia (*Valak is the name of a character in horror film The Conjuring.) 

    6. “Ok lang na mataba ako at baboy!”

    "While playing with other kids, my son’s playmates started teasing him about his weight. I was a little peeved, but then my son answered, ‘Ok lang na mataba ako at baby, kasi mama ko mataba rin!’

    "So, ako pa ang dinamay sa usapan? Why??? Hahaha.” — Pie Mendez Sta. Barbara

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    7. “Kuya, mabaho ka.”

    “We were in Quiapo inside an accessories shop and while waiting in line, there was a guy in front of us who had body odor. My son, who was 3, tapped his shoulder and said, ‘Kuya, mabaho ka.’

    "I was so scared — the man was twice my size! I immediately carried my son, left the things I was supposed to buy and exited the store. And it took me a long time to choose those items!” — Jaizhi Tan

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    8. “Ang ganda dito! Ang liwanag!”

    “My father passed away in 2015. During the wake, my 4-year-old daughter was talking to her tita (whom she calls ‘ate’) on the phone. She said, ‘Ang ganda dito ngayon, ate! Ang liwanag!’ I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.” — Abbie Geraldino

    9. “Papa, init dito. Paypay ko pera ko.”

    “My 4-year-old went to church with her dad. They were asked to stand but my daughter remained seated and when my husband turned to look at her, she was holding her play money (she brought her own bag!) and was fanning herself with it. When my husband asked her to put it away, she replied, ‘Papa, init dito. Paypay ko pera ko. Pawis ako oh.’ My husband didn’t know how to react — everyone in the church was looking at them and laughing!” — Ann Abaigar

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    10. “Ayokong mawalan ng Kuya!”

    “My eldest was six and my youngest was 4. We rode a jeep and my legs were hurting so I told my husband, ‘Huwag mo nang kalungin si Kuya, ibayad na natin siya.’

    "In a panic, my youngest cried, ‘Wag ma! ‘Wag kang pumayag na ibayad si Kuya! Ayokong mawalan ng Kuya!’ We couldn’t help it. Everybody in that jeep laughed!” — Rizc Natividad

    12. “Ano po ‘yung ham, ate, chicken po ba ‘yun?”

    “My son and I can’t eat pork so while in a fastfood chain, I asked my son to confirm if there was pork in the macaroni salad we ordered. Here’s how their conversation went:

    Son: Hi, ate, ask ko lang po. May halo po bang pork ang salad ninyo?

    Crew: Wala.

    Son (while pointing at salad): Ito po ate, ano po ito?

    Crew: Ah, ham lang ‘yan.

    Son (asking innocently): Ano po ‘yung ham, chicken po ba ‘yun?

    Crew: Pork!

    Everybody who was in line laughed. OMG!” — Yenne Magon


    13. “Poopoo Itid, labas na isa!”

    “My 2-year-old and I were at Padre Pio Chapel. I was in line writing a prayer request. The whole chapel was silent when my daughter suddenly shouted, ‘Nanay! Utot Itid (her name is Astrid).’ Then she farted really loudly.

    "I was shocked! Then, she shouted again, ‘Poopoo, Itid, labas na isa!’ The people in front of us were laughing quietly, haha!” 

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