Ayaw Kalaro Ang Anak Ko Dahil English-Speaking: A Mom Vents Out About Outcast Child

Nowadays, it’s normal to hear children as young as toddlers speak in straight English. Some have an Amercian accent, sometimes British. With the advent of technology, children have become more exposed to foreign languages which enables them to learn quickly.

Other parents choose to stick to teaching the mother tongue to their children before introducing them to English.
Though no language or dialect is better than the other, what’s not okay is discrimination if a child doesn’t speak one’s language. 

An aggravated mommy shared their hurtful experience in Smart Parenting Village:

Her daughter wasdiscriminated by her playmates because she’s English-speaking. Parents can imagine the pain she felt–she was rejected and then humiliated. After what happened, the little girl became hesitant to play again outside.

This is one of the most dreaded situations of a parent–your child crying because she was hurt by others.

English-speaking kids being made fun of

The anonymous post sparked a conversation regarding the same experience. Over 200 hundred parents shared their same experience:

“Hugs mama to you and your baby, ganyan din mga anak ko kaya iniwasan ko na lang na makipag laro sila sa kapitbahay, said Ruth Bellisario. 

“Meron pa ako isang tita sinabihan ako na, ‘Nasa Pinas anak mo, pinag-E-english mo’. Sabi ko, hindi ko naman sila tinuruan. Sa two years na nakakakulong sila sa bahay more on nood TV at YouTube Kids sila. Ayaw ko naman suwayin sa pag-English kasi wala din naman masama.

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Another mom recounted how her three-year-old would sadly return home because kids wouldn't play with her. 

Many moms shared that sometimes, as soon as the other kids find out that their child is English-speaking, they automatically turn away and find other playmates.  

How other moms handled the bullying

There were lots of advice and tips given to the anonymous mommy to solve their predicament:

“At first, ganyan din mga kalaro ng mga anak ko sa kanila, but then hindi ko pinipigilan na makipag laro mga kids ko sa kanila. Nakikipag english na rin sila. At pakaunti unti ko din tinuruan mga kids na magtagalog hanggang sa maka-adapt na sila sa sorroundings nila,” says Angel Achurra.

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Some other mommies who went through the same thing said that what worked for them was to also teach their child some Tagalog words, but did not force it. If they want to speak Tagalog, it’s good. But if they don’t want, it’s okay, too.

Some said that they resorted to going to other parks where their child can play and find new playmates.

Language is not the problem

However, other parents pointed out that language is not the problem–whether English, Tagalog, or other dialects. 

Some parents in the group observe that when kids who don't speak the same language together play together, it’s a win-win situation: the Filipino-speaking child learns English and the English-speaking child learns Filipino. And they happily play together.

Chloe Eunice, another mom, also shared a fond experience that shows that language is not the barrier:
“My daughter speaks English din but by choice. We often travel kasi pre-pandemic and we felt na people will understand her more if she gets lost if she speaks English. Anyway, it's normal to feel sad and hurt na parang outcast yung kid mo but believe me, your kid dodged a bullet. 

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"Since English speaking nga si LO ko, somehow, nafifilter yung mga nagiging friends/playmates nya. Those who really wanted to be friends with her really make an effort to communicate with her and if they can't express themselves in English, they'll act it out. 

She says kids find a way to play with each other when they really want to. So it may be other things that keep kids away from others.

“I feel na these kids' parents are doing a great job instilling good values to their kids kaya I feel security rin for my daughter. There are some kids who really don't want to be friends with other kids and that's okay too kasi di ba tayo ngang mga adults hindi rin naman natin kinakaibigan lahat.

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She assures anonymous parent, “Don’t worry, your kid will eventually meet the playmates for keeps.”

Chloe Eunice ends her thoughts reminding the poster that it’s still a child’s character that matters.“People who can't express themselves or not comfortable speaking other languages/dialects other than their own may have tendencies to discriminate against those who can and that behavior shows their insecurities. That's their problem,” she says.

What parents can do when your child experiences discrimination

Whether the reason is English-speaking or any other difference, we can never fully protect our children from discrimination even bullying. 

On the other hand, there are a lot of things we can do as parents to make sure our kids can recover from these and never do these things to other children:

1. Acknowledge what happened and what your child felt.

It’s good to start as early as possible to discuss feelings with kids so that they know how to communicate how they feel. The situation will be harder to assess if children can’t communicate these to their parents.

2. Remind them that they are loved for who they are.

And whoever says otherwise can never change that fact about themselves.

3. In teaching kindness, make sure to be kind to your children, too.

And to other people as well. Children imitate and copy their parents so much, and even our behavior toward other people is crucial to how they will interact with others. You can’t teach your child to be kind to the other kids if you don’t show it yourself.

4. Teach them to forgive.

No matter how small and young they may seem, always remind them to forgive and go on. Don’t hold on to grudges and be the bigger person.

Whatever the issue at hand is, parents should be the ones to model kindness–to their children and to others as well.