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Dear Julian, I'm Sorry: A Father's Honest Apology To His Son
PHOTO BY /CHRISTIAN HALILI (LEFT) AND JULIUS BAYONETA (RIGHT)
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    Dear Julian,

    I need to apologize to you for the mistakes I made as your parent. You may not all understand these things at this time.

    I pray for you to forgive me. I am sorry that I am always tired from work and have less time to play with you or teach you.

    READ MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR: How I’m Trying To Be A Good Dad Even Though I Grew Up Without One

    We used to be best buds when you were still a baby up until your toddler years. I hope you remember that I tried my best when I was still your best playmate and teacher.

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    I am sorry whenever I get angry, it was never your fault that I got upset. I have a short fuse for some reason.

    I have often judged myself a bad father because of that alone. I may have developed it because I have experienced long stretches of time of being treated unfairly and ignored.

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    I have been sleep-deprived for years, too. It weighs heavily on my heart and over the years it has caused me grief.

    I want you to know how sad I am every time you wish for something that I cannot afford. We have been dealing with debts due to medical emergencies Nanay Jean and Juliana had over the past years.

    At this time, we cannot afford even a simple vacation. I can't buy you new toys, books, clothes, and shoes. You are fortunate though that you have generous godmothers and relatives who give you gifts.

    I want to say sorry now. I do not want to regret not apologizing to you. I need your forgiveness.

    RELATED: So You Shouted At Your Kid–Here's What You Need To Do Next To Avoid Making It Worse

    Someday you may be a father. If that comes to pass, I believe you will be a better father than I was to you.

    You will become a better person than me, and I hope this apology will help.

    I love you so much!

    Love,

    Tatay Julius

    Julius Bayoneta is part of the Smart Parenting Dad Squad and one of My Smart Parenting Story 2021's finalists. Read more about his story here.

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