’Di Na Ako Competitive: I Stopped Comparing My Child With OthersA mom learns it’s best to focus on her child and his natural gifts.CREATED WITH ARLA
Social media has evolved from simply being a way to connect with friends and loved ones to a repository of accessible information. First-time mothers find this particularly helpful, as it helps them navigate motherhood easier with tips and advice directly coming from fellow moms who share their know-how along with their children's growth and milestones.
But constant exposure to these can unwittingly cause moms to compare their kid to others.
From following to comparing
Public relations professional Trisha Bautista had to confront this reality when she had her son, Teddy, now 3.
During her pregnancy, Trisha immediately followed several mom bloggers and influencers to get ideas on what baby essentials to buy and where to get them. Her decision to follow these people on social media also offered a glimpse of how other moms were raising their children.
"As a first-time mom, [I found it] useful and, in a way, inspiring, because seeing all these moms and their kids helped me visualize motherhood," Trisha shares. "But when my kid got older and as his needs changed, I found myself comparing him more and more to other kids I see on social media. Does he talk as well as this other kid? Is he enrolled in the same activities that other kids are doing?"
"At some point, I had to stop, think, and consciously tell myself that it’s my kid, my rules, and raising a child is not a competition," she adds.
Eventually, Trisha realized she was putting so much unnecessary pressure on herself and her son. She even started questioning her choice to delay Teddy’s schooling just because she felt that other kids his son’s age were already going to school.
"As a former teacher, I decided that I didn’t want to put Teddy in school too early because I wanted to be his guide during his toddler years," she says. "But then, I was seeing all these moms on social media taking their kids to playschool as early as 1 year old."
"As [Teddy’s] third birthday approached and his playmates started going to school, I almost enrolled him just because everyone else was [in school]," Trisha explains.
"And then I realized my only reason for doing so was because of peer pressure," she adds.
Immediately, Trisha took a step back, deciding to trust her instincts. She stuck to the choices she made for her son, regardless of what everyone else was saying or doing.
Giving him the best
The experience, Trisha says, taught her this simple but essential truth: "You are what’s best for your child."
"As long as you raise him to be kind, loving, and polite, and able to deal with the world around him, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t hit milestones at the same time as everyone else. You know what’s best for your kid. What others are doing should not be your gauge of how you parent. If you have to unfollow other moms [on social media] to make you believe in yourself, do so," she says.
Parenting is an ongoing learning process. It takes time, patience, and effort. There are no shortcuts to it, and this approach should also apply to the product choices moms make for their kids.
Arla Organic Powdered Milk is a powdered dairy product for you and your kids. It has four organic ingredients, has no GMOs and pesticides, and is 100-percent European Certified Organic. Just like how moms take their time with parenting, Arla Organic Powdered Milk is made with no shortcuts, and with painstaking care and concern not just for the family but also for the environment. Through its products, Arla wants to help moms become more confident in nurturing what’s inherently and uniquely great in their child.
At the end of the day, you alone know what your child needs best. Don’t second-guess yourself and feel rushed just to keep up with others. Keep in mind that nurturing a child takes time and patience. Raising kids is not a competition, so just do your best to provide what’s good for your family.
ASC REFERENCE CODE: A007P080819AW