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Dear Daughter, I'm in Awe of You and Terrified for You. Here's Why
  • To my daughter Camille Alexandra,

    When I found out I was going to have a baby girl, I silently prayed to God and asked Him to bless you (kind of like what Sleeping Beauty probably went through). I asked God for three angels — one to bless you with wisdom, one to grant you good health and the third to give you a fearless personality (malakas ang loob!). 

    The circumstances of your birth were life-changing for both of us, and it is why I believe our bond as a mother and child will never be broken.  As soon as I saw you, and you looked at me with your needy and vulnerable eyes, I was filled with an intense love as soon as I carried you in my arms. My brain was already thinking of the possibilities of dolling you up, what to teach you, and all the mother-and-daughter activities I wanted to do with you.

    Now that you have turned 17, you are no longer a girl, even if you sometimes act like a 9-year-old. Please don't say "annoying," "whatever," and "duh," when I constantly ask you to explain something related to IG (Instagram) or when I ask you about your latest crushes  I'm naturally curious how you are doing and as your mom, be prepared for those types of questions until you're old.

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    As the saying goes, you will always have a piece of me wherever you may go.

    When I was a teenager, I thought my parents were strict. I always had curfews, and I had to endure the endless questions about where I was going, who I was going with, etc. That was why even if the party I wanted to go to was school-related, my dad (your lolo) made sure to pick me up. 

    Now, as the parent of a teenage daughter myself, I realize my parents weren’t strict — they were actually scared! And here I am feeling the same way. It's a mixture of terror and being in awe of seeing you in a totally different light.  

    You are your own person, so different from me when I was your age. And I say this with pride, coupled with a fervent wish — that you will have the discernment to make the right decisions when faced with tough situations. You’ll be able to carry through because you have that “maabilidad” trait in you.

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    I still remember when you sold some accessories in school when you submitted an artwork and even won an award for it. You did all of that without asking me for help. You’ve also saved me from my many photo editing fails and you helped kuya’s school projects that got him high scores.

    You will constantly go through phases in your life, so deal with challenges with grace. If you get hurt in the process, get your heart broken, that’s okay. You will either succeed or fail. All of the experiences you are dealt with will define you, so don’t be afraid. Have faith in yourself.

    Lastly, I know how social media has become such a big part of your generation.  Please learn to differentiate the “real” from the “superficial.” The images you see on the many sites you follow don’t necessarily reflect the person’s true persona. 

    Your beauty lies in what is YOURS. Embrace your individuality. Don’t let anybody make you feel otherwise. Respect other women and don’t be quick to judge others. Value friendships that allow you to grow as a person.

    There are still so many things I want to tell you, but we’ll do that another day. 

    Love you always bebe,
    Your mama

    Maria Angeles "Angie" Azcona- Victoriano is a mom to two teenagers. Before she started writing, Angie worked in the guidance department of a school. She spends her free time writing love stories and makes trinkets using semi-precious stones. A certified caffeine junkie, she also enjoys watching the sunset.

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