Mom Shares Inspiring Australia Migration Journey, 'Moving To A Foreign Country And Starting From Scratch'

Migration. Pregnancy. Pandemic. Isolation. These are the words that defined my life from 2020 to 2022. I still sigh and heave when I think about these words, but now they make me feel empowered and stronger. It took me years to finally see them in a positive perspective.

In 2019, my husband and I moved to Australia. We are both healthcare workers with dreams of a better life, stability, and some time freedom. We went through written examinations and other preparations, and fortunately, my husband secured a job as a medical officer in a hospital in the greater Sydney region.

Initially, we had planned for our first year in Australia to be just the two of us, to establish stability, and for me to find work. Adapting to a new place with no family nearby, adjusting to a new system, and culture, is a process that takes time. Starting over in a different country was daunting, but we were hopeful that Australia would help us achieve our goal of work-life balance and starting a family.

However, God had a different, more intricate plan for us. I found out I was pregnant the same year we migrated. I was frantic and unprepared for this news, even though I was happy. Numerous questions and worries loomed over me, making it hard to fully embrace the journey of pregnancy initially.

We believed family would visit and help, but circumstances changed. As I gradually moved past my initial fears, I was offered a position as a medical officer in the hospital, and I prepared to work while pregnant, reassuring myself that I could make it work.

"Parenting during a pandemic, especially in a foreign country and in isolation, was exceptionally tough."

Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, bringing unprecedented times and heightened isolation that added to my mental health struggles. My start date at work was delayed due to lockdown, and my paperwork got held up. Family couldn't visit due to the pandemic, and some even contracted the virus. It was a stressful and grief-stricken time for all of us. My husband and I had to rely on each other for everything. As we were on a working visa, without Medicare, and our private health insurance didn't cover pregnancy and delivery, we faced financial challenges. My husband took extra shifts to make ends meet, and my anxiety grew as our future with our little one seemed uncertain. Despite the anxieties and "what ifs," we held onto the belief that our baby was a blessing and kept the faith. I briefly worked during my third trimester but had to take maternity leave without pay because I hadn't earned that benefit as a new employee.

In August 2020, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. It was a challenging and traumatic labor, but I fought hard to ensure that my son would have a loving mother. Parenting during a pandemic, especially in a foreign country and in isolation, was exceptionally tough. My husband quickly learned how to care for a newborn as I recovered. Having a nanny during that time was hard to come by as everybody was on lockdown, and we doubted if we could afford it during those periods.

"Wherever you are, it doesn’t matter which country you call home—your home and your heart is always where your family is."

My mental health suffered due to these circumstances, and I felt incapable as a mother. Dealing with the physical trauma of childbirth also brought up unresolved traumatic issues. I was fortunate to be in a country where mental health is an important healthcare concern, and people are reducing the stigma surrounding seeking help. I had support when I felt alone, and we found new friends who became like family, extending their helping hands when we had nowhere else to turn.

My years in Australia have been a steep learning curve as I juggle multiple roles: mother, wife, doctor, and friend. My personal growth has been vast and humbling. If you had asked me five years ago if I would be this person, I wouldn't have believed it. I'm still a work in progress, and my family and I are figuring out many aspects of our lives, especially as our child's needs change rapidly. However, my husband and I firmly believe that we will get through it, having already survived a pandemic and other remarkable challenges.

Here are my takeaways from this journey.

Mom shares lessons on migrating to Australia

1. Moving to a foreign country and starting from scratch, whether with a partner or alone, can be uncomfortable and unsettling. It involves learning a new culture, possibly a new language, and adapting to a different work environment and financial system. The growth you'll experience is immense and will hone your independence and self-worth. It's normal to be afraid, but take calculated risks.

2. "You have to lose yourself to know yourself and to belong." This saying holds true, especially when moving to a new place. Belonging can be challenging due to differences in perspectives, motives, and personalities. Along the way, you'll meet people who become a part of your life and contribute to your growth. Welcome and cherish these connections.

3. In times of challenges with your partner, it's always a conscious decision and commitment to weather the storm. If you're committed from the start to the idea that your plans and life goals will require hard work but will be worth it, it will indeed be worth it. Wherever you are, it doesn’t matter which country you call home—your home and your heart is always where your family is. 

Lizzie Ayento-Torres is a contributing writer for Smart Parenting. She is a mum of a curious, cheeky toddler, and she tries to balance family life and medical career. She currently lives in Sydney, Australia.