To You Who Had To Put Your Kids First Before Your Career, This SAHM Reminds, 'Hindi Lahat Ng Achievement Nasa Papel'

"Hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel." 

This line is a timely and powerful reminder from Viviene Bigornia, mom of two from Carmona, Cavite.

In a Facebook post, the stay-at-home mom shared a recent experience that resonated with a lot of moms. She granted Smart Parenting the permission to publish it as is.

She wrote, "Di naman lingid sa inyong kaalaman na may saltik ako.

In one of my therapy sessions, I voiced out my frustrations about losing so much time and opportunity because of motherhood and with a tinge of regret... how I wish I had more time for my career.

My therapist said, "Alam mo kanina pa tayo sa session, never kong narinig mag-ingay at mangulit ung mga anak mo. Nung naiiyak ka kanina, binigyan ka pa ng panyo. You know Viviene, hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel."

Hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel...

It sank in rather quickly and brought me to tears  for the next 15 mins hanggang matapos ung session humahagulgol ako. I honestly couldn't hear/understand what she said after anymore, kasi paulit ulit lang ung sinabi nya sa brain ko.

"Hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel."

Today, I cried again (what's new). Pagbukas ko ng laptop I found this uneven star na puno ng "I love you the most" from Bok.

And I remembered this conversation I had with my therapist.

"Hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel."

To the mom (like me) who felt napag-iwanan na ng panahon kasi inuna ang pagiging nanay kesa sa career, wag ka mainggit sa kanila kasi...

Hindi lahat ng achievement nasa papel."

As of writing, her post has over 1.2K shares. One of the comments read, "I feel you. I am you. And I’m grateful that I have arrived at that point in my life where I appreciate all those achievements na wala sa papel."

READ ALSO: Why I'm No Longer Embarrassed To Say My Dream Is To Be A Stay At Home Mom

Promoting maternal mental health awareness

In an interview with Smart Parenting, Viviene said that she went through postpartum depression after giving birth to her first child. 

"Thankfully, God brought me out of it. But after a few years, I had some personal battles that got the best of me. I was diagnosed with Mixed Anxiety Depressive Disorder (MADD)."

She had to go on medication to be well, however, a few months later, her father passed away.

"Our family is our first ministry. Note to self ko din ito. I need to be reminded again and again and again and again."

"How do I ever stand again? It was a very dark season. But again God proved His sovereignty and helped me get back on my feet. Although I am not taking medications now, I do therapy sessions every now and then," she said.

Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, Viviene was an English teacher in language schools. Her last employment was in Singapore. 

"So imagine the misery of my wallet when I became a mother," she said in an interview via Messenger, "Parang feeling ko ang walang kwenta ko na.  Nakakahiya naman manghingi ng pera sa asawa para magpa-salon."

Now, she homeschools her two kids who are aged 8 and 5, and also ventures into different business opportunities.

Message to stay at home parents

Viviene has this to say to stay-at-home parents, "I remember what my friend said, "Alam mo, wala kong kilalang nanay na nagsisi kasi inalagaan ang anak nila, na mas inuna nila ang pamilya kesa sa career. Akala mo lang yan ngayon hindi okay. Pero mas noble yang ginagawa mo na ikaw nag-aalaga ng anak mo." That message left a mark in my heart. Hindi tayo perfect and we will never be. Pero ang mahalin at maalagaan ang mga anak natin, sapat na sapat na yan."

She puts it firmly, "Our family is our first ministry. Note to self ko din ito. I need to be reminded again and again and again and again."

This mom said she is no longer embarrassed to say that her dream job is to be a stay-at-home mom. Read here.