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  • Mom Truth: You Need To Toughen Up When You Are Raising Daughters

    These three moms are bound by their mission to Raise independent and brave daughters.
    by Jocelyn Valle .
Mom Truth: You Need To Toughen Up When You Are Raising Daughters
PHOTO BY Dix Perez
  • These three moms, members of the Smart Parenting Mom Network, are good friends who also happen to be avowed twinning fans, thanks to the fact that each of them has a daughter. They are bound by their mission in life: Raise independent, compassionate, and brave girls.

    These three moms know they need to be those things now as their daughters' first role models, making this friendship more vital in their lives. Find your mom tribe because the support and strength you get are invaluable

    ALFIE ANGELICA SANIEL, 32

    “To be honest, no’ng pagkapanganak ko, nakaka-pressure mag-twinning [outfits with my daughter] kasi nag-gain ako ng weight.”
    PHOTO BY Dix Perez
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    As much as she loved twinning with her 3-year-old daughter Summer, Alfie, who works full time as a market researcher in a utility company, admitted she found it hard to do when she couldn’t fit in her old clothes anymore. She found confidence again when she started enjoying herself in badminton. She had no strict regimen, but eventually, she began to lose her pregnancy weight.

    Alfie was glad because she cannot resist when her daughter wants them to dress up like princesses. Such is her devotion to her unica hija that they have twinning princess costumes as Elsa from the Disney movie Frozen!  The two also share a love for arts and crafts.

    When Alfie gets home, her focus is on Summer. (She has a yaya who comes over their house during the daytime.) She neither thinks of her work nor checks on her mobile phone. The same goes for weekends, which she describes as a sacred time reserved for their family of three. 

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    “Walang work o kahit ano pag weekend,” she pointed out.

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    CHERRIE ROSE MAGBANUA, 36

    “Handling my daughter is far more different from handling hundreds of kids I’ve taught here and abroad. But with God’s grace and the patience and training I got, I’ve learned how to deal with her.”
    PHOTO BY Dix Perez
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    Cherrie Rose is an early-education teacher who’s had a stint in Singapore. But she admits her husband is the one who, at times, can make their almost 4-year-old daughter Zuri listen and follow.

    “May times na when I give her corrections, real-time hindi niya agad nasusunod,” Alfie said of the girl she describes as “so challenging, so opposite of me.” She went on narrating: “But after a few days, I would realize na if she receives the same correction, like from her dad, nakakapag-respond na siya positive sa correction na binigay ko sa kanya.”

    Cherrie Rose takes the situation in a positive light, pointing out that Zuri is “very, very smart.” Her daughter “knows that my love for her is unconditional, and even if she’s not following right away, she knows that I love her no matter what.”

    Zuri does listen to her mom. At one event, Cherrie Rose recalled when a child let Zuri borrow her toy. After a few minutes, the child suddenly took the toy away from Zuri, who promptly threw a tantrum, yelling, “It’s my toy!”

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    Cherrie Rose tried explaining it was not her toy, but Zuri wouldn’t calm down. So she took Zuri outside and spoke with her.

    “I explained to her bakit it’s okay to be angry, but you have to be mindful of the people,” Cherrie Rose said. “Sabi ko sa kanya, ‘Don’t cry too loud. You’re not going to hear the person talking anymore. You’re staying here until you calm down. We can only go back inside if you understood about the grabbing of toy and the taking away of the toy.’ Kumalma naman siya after 15 minutes.” 

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    DIN REAL BAUTISTA, 34

    “I have been breastfeeding for almost four years now. Okay naman. But sometimes, I want my body back.”
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    Since giving birth in 2016, Din has been exclusively breastfeeding her daughter Monica, who now has her first set of teeth or milk teeth. Din does not want to wean her daughter from breast milk by force. She hopes it will happen the way Monica went potty for the first time — she just woke up one day not wanting to wear a diaper anymore. “Walang pilitan” is Din’s parenting style, except when Monica refuses to eat. “Doon lang ako nai-stress.”

    Stress was the reason Din quit her fulltime job as a recruitment officer; she was four months pregnant at the time. She decided to do jobs that allowed her to work from home. It was the ideal setup so she could take care of her daughter without getting too tired from having a fulltime job. She admitted, “Kung pagod ako, puyat, ganyan, my temper is really maikli, eh. My patience runs low agad, kawawa siya.”

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    On the topic of social media, Din has observed that what comes out on her feed is “toxic na minsan,” that’s why she hopes to see more about experiences that are happy, real, and relatable “na maiisip mo na I’m not alone pala.”

    Din hopes to write useful and inspiring content for moms like her. “Something na para hindi ka matatakot. ‘Ah, okay pala ’ko. I’m good. Hindi pala ako dapat mag-isip na, Ay, I’m not a good mother.’ Kasi gano’n, eh. Minsan pag di ka maa-affirm, ‘Ay, mali ako.’ Eh wala namang bad mother.” 

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