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  • 'I Don’t Want To Fall Into The Trap Of Being An Awesome Dad Yet A Lousy Husband'

    "As a stay-at-home dad, I am learning humility, persistence and endurance."
    by SmartParenting Staff .
'I Don’t Want To Fall Into The Trap Of Being An Awesome Dad Yet A Lousy Husband'
  • Last March 2021, we asked our readers to submit their answers to this question: “How did Smart Parenting help you on your parenting journey?”

    We’ve chosen the 10 finalists from all over the country. But YOU get to decide who goes home with P100,000 by voting for the story that touched you the most (scroll below to vote!).

    One of the #MySmartParentingStory finalists is Alfie Tulagan, a dad of two. He says he “stalks” the articles of Smart Parenting Confessions, which are messages and letters sent anonymously to the website.

    “It’s like a gold mine of realistic information to understand the psychology of a woman’s mind. I thought, if I would keep on reading #SPconfessions, I could understand my wife better and become an awesome husband.”

    One particular article that made an impact was “Parang Chore Na Lang Ang Sex.” Alfie said he began to understand his wife, a medical frontliner, better when it came to sexual intimacy.

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    “I understood why she seemed to prefer resting or sleeping early than make love after a tiring day at work. There were just too many on her plates, and her lack of sex drive didn’t mean her love was on a brink of extinction. She still loves me. She’s just damn tired, sometimes.”

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    Alfie’s Smart Parenting story: “Biyaya sa gitna ng trahedya ng pandemya”

    Nakakapagod maging magulang. Nakaka-drain ng energy.

    Sa totoo lang, madali lang namang mag-alaga ng bata, magpakain, magpaligo, magpadede, magpalit ng diaper, at magpatulog. Sisiw ‘yan.

    Ang problema, kapag naramdaman mo ang pagod; kapag may dumaang dagok sa iyong buhay; kapag nawalan ka ng trabaho at pang-suporta sa iyong pamilya; kapag hindi ka pinapansin ng iyong asawa; kapag walang nakakapag-appreciate sa iyong ginagawa.

    Ang dating mani-maning routine sa bahay bilang isang magulang, biglang bumibigat, humihirap, nawawalan ng saysay at buhay. Diyan na pumapasok ang pagdududa sa ating mga sarili bilang isang magulang. Pero ang puso ng isang magulang, tanging hangad ay kabutihan at kapakanan ng ating mga anak.

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    Pinalala pa ng Covid-19 pandemic ang sitwasyon. Hindi basta-basta nakakalabas. Hindi makapamasyal. Ang iba, nakatutok lang sa kani-kanilang gadget, o sa panunuod ng Netflix. Nawawalan ng koneksyon sa sa isa’t isa ang pamilya. Pati relasyon ng mag-asawa, nananamlay.

    “Fatherhood should enhance your marriage. I don’t want to fall into the trap of being an awesome dad yet a lousy husband to my wife.”
    PHOTO BY courtesy of Alfie Tulagan
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    Minsan, mataas ang emosyon kapag stress sa trabaho. Madaling ma-bad trip. Madaling maasar. Simpleng mali ng anak, napupuna. Napapasigaw. Nagagalit.

    Bigla mo na lang mare-realize na, “Teka, hindi mga anak ko ang problema.” Hindi sila. Bata ‘yan. Walang kamuwang-muwang sa buhay. Sa Covid.

    Mapapahiya ka na lang bilang isang magulang. Kasi alam mong may mas tama at mabuting paraan ng pagtrato sa iyong mga anak sa gitna ng hamon ng buhay.

    Ako’y isang ama ng dalawang batang lalaki. Maksil at Aro ang kanilang pangalan, mga salitang Pangasinan na nangangahulugang “Malakas” at “Mahal/Kaibigan.” Sila ang aking lakas at pag-ibig.

    Dahil sa pandemic, naging hands-on ako sa pagbabantay sa kanila, habang nagtatrabaho ang aking asawa bilang medical frontliner. Hindi madaling maging magulang. Pero buti na lang…buti na lang may mga impormasyon at gabay sa kung paano magpatulog ng bata, magpa-dede, magpalit ng diaper, at iba pa.

    Buti na lang may mga practical tips kung paano maging isang wais na magulang at mapagmahal na asawa. Buti na lang, may Smart Parenting.

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    Sa mahigit dalawang taon ko bilang isang magulang, naging katuwang ko ang Smart Parenting sa pagtataguyod ng aking dalawang anak.

    Maksil at Aro. Smart Parenting. Salamat sa pagiging biyaya sa gitna ng trahedya ng pandemya. 

    Love Alfie’s story? Click his name below to vote, so he brings home P100,000!

    Want to read the other finalists' stories before voting? You can find all 10 entries here! Voting is until May 15.

    While you can vote multiple times using this poll, the results you see do not reflect the actual validated numbers. Did you vote 10 times for one candidate? That will only be considered as 1 vote. So we highly encourage you to vote once and ask your friends to cast their votes as well.

    Click your pick among the finalists to vote!

    Judy of Quezon City

    The Mom Who Is Overcoming Postpartum Struggles

    Jashmine of Laguna

    The Mom Who Fought APAS

    Julius of Mandaluyong City

    The Hands-On Working Dad

    Karen of Isabela

    The Mom-Care Advocate

    Ena of Davao

    The Mental Wellness Advocate

    Genina of Marikina City

    Single Mom By Choice

    JC of Cagayan Valley

    The Student Dad

    Maryjade of Quezon Province

    The Mom Who Worked 8 Jobs

    Melody of North Cotabato

    The Mom Of A Child With Special Needs 

    Alfie of Pangasinan

    The Stay-At-Home Dad

    The final winner will be based on the number of unique votes at the end of the voting period. Here's where the voting is so far according to unique votes.

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    As one of our 10 finalists, Alfie will receive:

    • An ible Airvida Wearable Air Purifier worth P8,795
    • P2,000 worth of gift certificates
    • A chance to win P100,000, tax-free, of course!

    Submitted entries are edited only for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and formatting.

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