Taking up the Challenges of Solo Parenting

We all probably know a single parent among our circle of friends or acquaintances. Looking around us, we can definitely surmise that being a solo parent is becoming a more common occurrence, even in a comparatively “conservative” country like ours.

When it comes to getting support and keeping “sane” especially on difficult days, here are some tips from real-life solo parents:

Jackie:
“As a single mom, I get my support both financially and emotionally from my family and from the love I get from my son. Being a single parent is a challenge and step-by-step learning process  itself – it makes one become a better person.”

“Personally, I learned from the past, accepted my mistakes, and choose to stay positive because I have to make myself “better,” especially for my son. At the end of the day, all of these make for a rewarding experience.”

”There are no perfect tips for solo parents raising a child - you just need to be yourself and be a good role model to your kid. Single parenting is probably one of the toughest jobs any person could have. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a single mother or a single father - you’re still bound to face some challenges in your journey of raising your child or children alone. You’ll have to play the roles of a caring and nurturing mother and a disciplining and stabilizing father all in the same day and move seamlessly between these roles! Ultimately, being a single parent is hard work, but it can also be one of the most rewarding roles you will ever accept.”

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Sherlyn:
“I honestly found support from my family and friends. Similarly, the local church to which I belong has never failed to take care of my spiritual life. This makes me want to keep moving forward.”

“As long as I have God in my heart and hold on to His promises, I know that I have the best future ahead of me.“

 “My advice for solo parents would be to spend more time with your kids. This will make them feel complete and not long for something they do not have. Make them your top priority. In my case, I'm so blessed to have the time to drop my daughter off to school in the morning, pick her up in the afternoon, and help her with her homework. That's our daily bonding, augmented by our weekend activities, which are always considered special.”

“Also, solo parents should be open to their kids and treat them as their best friends. We can do this by listening to what they say and making them feel that their opinions matter.”

“Teach your kids how to pray and read their Bible every day. Praying will help them become confident and courageous in life. Reading the Bible will direct them to the path of righteousness.”

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Kristie:
“When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't attend any seminars and classes because I didn't have a partner to go with. I also felt that I wasn't ready to meet other people and share my story (of being a single mom).”

“However, I got support from one of my best friends, who gave birth nine months ahead of me. She encouraged me to breastfeed my baby, which I still do until now. She even shared her milk with my baby for two days when I was still working on my milk supply.”

“I also did a lot of online research and reading. There are many support groups and breastfeeding advocates on Facebook like Babymama, L.A.T.C.H and Chronicles of a Nursing Mom.

”For my fellow solo parents out there, here’s some advice: first, never ever think that you cannot do it. Raising a child well is never easy but not impossible. Your child needs your strength and love. Second, you have to be a better parent and person each day. You will learn a lot as your baby grows. And third, for the single moms, please breastfeed. This will be the best gift you can give to your child.”

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Ellen:
“Facing the challenges of motherhood may be tough and at times, but not everything is as gloomy as it appears to be. Too often in life, there are signals or mixed messages that can mislead us. Fortunately, parents, good friends, and other mentors help keep me on the right path. There is no such thing as a perfect mother. After all, mothers are mere human beings.”
 
”As a parent with the goal of developing successful and happy relationships in the family, you have to be prepared and willing to forgive and forget all the hurt, misfortunes, wrongs, and indiscretions that our children commit towards us, themselves, and/or others.”

“We must be equally prepared to accept the fact that our children may not be as forgiving of any of our shortcomings or mistakes. The only thing we can do is to continue to sow and nourish the seeds of love and kindness and hope that the roots sink deep into our children's hearts.”

“Raising kids is both a rewarding and a heartbreaking adventure - love and treasure your child, and allow them to be who they want to be and let them know you are always in the background, cheering for them. We have a responsibility to help our kids deal with the challenges of life, particularly when things don't go our way.”

”Lastly, maintain a relationship with God. This is probably the primary key to success as a single parent. Talking to God through prayer is one of the best ways to receive God's guidance.’”

 

Photo by Terence Yim from flickr creative commons