'I'm Free But I'm Also Sad' Mom Shares Journey of Weaning 4 Year Old

Weaning can be a bittersweet journey for many moms especially if they have been breastfeeding in the first few years of their child’s life. The bonding that breastfeeding develops between a mother and child, whether she has been doing it for four months or four years, is simply irreplaceable.     

Saying goodbye  

When Smart Parenting Village member Mommy Cham Secretario posted about her weaning journey, she couldn’t help but feel sentimental. “Saying goodbye to the most wonderful journey,” she opens her post. “It's been eleven days since my daughter said ‘adios’ to my ‘tetas’. I was able to breastfeed her for 4 years,” she reveals.  

“I never knew that weaning could be so heartbreaking. Nobody told me that. I'm not sure if that's a normal reaction or I'm just an emotional person. Yes, I'm glad now that I'm ‘free’, but at the same time, I'm also sad. I feel like we don't have our ‘thing’ anymore. Will she become distant from me?” she feared. 

The long road to weaning

Mommy Cham goes on to share that she always joked and made fun of how she wanted to stop breastfeeding, because she was already tired. “I tried to wean her when she turned two, unsuccessful. Then she turned three, not even close. And now that she's four, I finally decided that it's time to stop nursing.”  

She says there were many reasons for weaning her daughter. For one, her child already goes to school. On top of that, four years of breastfeeding has given her major back pains that only got worse when she turned 30. She also adds, “It's always a struggle to feed her especially now that she's bigger and taller.”   

Understandably, her daughter struggled at first. “The first few nights … she cried, and as I comforted her, I cried so much, too,” Mommy Cham shares.  “It was a mix of emotions because you realize she's really not a baby anymore. That you both have to go through this, to put an end to this era.” 

On their 10th day of weaning, they both showed some progress. She shares, “As I put her to sleep last night, she still asked, but without tears. I'm so proud of my brave baby girl. Maybe she'll be less clingy now, but that's okay.”

As the weaning became more certain, Mommy Cham can only feel nostalgic and sentimental. “I will always miss our favorite bonding moment. The "where-is-my-nursing-cover" anxiousness, when she was only a few months old, the ‘whipping-out-my-breast-to-feed-my-toddler’ feeling, no matter where we were.”  

Most moms feel the same way, too 

To her post many other moms came to her support. One Mommy wrote, “Awww same. Breastfed for 3 yrs 11 months! Mine naman refused to latch after my 14-day isolation. I keep offering (my breast) but he said my milk tastes minty na haha! Ako ang may sepanx. You did great!”  

 Another breastfeeding Mom wrote that thinking about weaning already breaks her heart, filling her message with broken heart emojis. “Sending hugs! Just thinking about it breaks my heart, even before having my second. Thankfully after giving birth (recently) to my second born, my first still and continues to be breastfed [and] will still do for as long as she wants and because I want her to be the one to decide to wean,” she shares. 

Another Mom also shared that she can relate to Mommy Cham’s journey but feels she’s not ready for weaning just yet. “Binabasa ko lang pero naiiyak ako mommy, I feel you! Breastfeeding my little boy for 3 years and 5 months already...no signs of weaning yet (and ayaw ko pa din naman yata...).”  

In the end, Mommy Cham knows there’s an ending to every journey. “I never expected my breastfeeding journey to last that long,” she shares.  “It's a feeling that can never be replaced. I'm thankful I got to experience it. Four years of joy with a little bit of exhaustion, but no regrets.”   

Weaning tricks  

To date, it’s been 18 days since she last weaned her daughter, Mommy Cham tells Smart Parenting via Messenger. She readily shared some of these weaning tricks she has tried and that has so far worked for her little one (LO):  

1. Make sleeping time fun.

“Ang style po na ginawa ko, I made her sleeping time fun’ para she looks forward to it. We bought new bedtime story books para mas ma-excite siya mag sleep [without breastfeeding].” 

2. Try not to change clothes in front of your LO. 

“Naging effective sa akin ito,” shares Mommy Cham.  “Before if magpapalit ako ng shirt kahit nandyan siya, okay lang. Tapos nung nag-wean na ako [napansin ko] na pag nagbibihis ako na nasa room din sya, bigla siya umiiyak kasi she can see my breasts. Nangungulit po sya. Tapos nung di na ko nagchange clothes with her in the same room, nawala na po yung pangungulit.  

3. Provide sleeping options that discourage breastfeeding.

Pag nangungulit po sya [na mag dede], binibigyan ko sya ng options. Sinasabi ko, ‘Where do you want to sleep? In mama's arm or on the chest?’ Para di niya na maisip magdede sa akin kasi wala po sa option. 

Mommy Cham ends her post with an encouraging note for other moms. “Motherhood may have changed the way we look  but our bodies are still amazing. Cheers to us moms!”