Effective Use Of Consequences And Countdown In Toddler Discipline

Incentives and consequences help children learn that unpleasant things happen as a result of their choices or misbehavior. Because of this, they learn to take responsibility for their actions. There are natural consequences that usually follow a course of action, like hunger after refusing to eat dinner. There are also logical consequences, which are decided by the parent or adult to accompany offenses.


Incentives And Consequences: When And Why They Work
For this technique to be effective, preschool teacher Lolita David suggests three key factors:

• tell the child what the consequences are before he or she breaks the rule
• relate the consequence directly to the misbehavior
• let the consequence occur each time the misbehavior happens.

More than just punishing misbehavior, consequences should also present incentives when the child displays good behavior. For example, if your kids put away their toys, reinforce this by allowing longer playtimes.


Using Countdown To Discipline Your Child
“You have until the count of 10 to stop screaming—and I mean completely stop—and start calming down.” Parents love countdowns. They’re tried and tested technique to keeping kids on their toes once mom or dad starts counting to three or 10. Countdown means giving a limited time for the child to change his or her misbehavior before he or she meets its consequences.

 

Click here to read more about when and why countdowns work.

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When And Why Countdowns Work
This can only work if done consistently. Also, the child needs to know clearly what will happen when the countdown concludes. Are they to expect a lecture at the end of each number, or the consequence for their non-compliance after the last count? If parents use countdown differently every time, and are constantly talking between each number (“One, you better stop now…Two, oh don’t make me reach three…”), who can keep track of the count and the expected behavior after it?
 
A structured countdown gives children an idea about how long they have to “shape up.” You give a count of three for your older son to stop teasing his little sister, or he has to go to his room for 15 minutes. Give your children until the count of 10 to stop squabbling, or you won’t allow outdoor play for the rest of the afternoon. Reiterate to the child that each misbehavior “earns” one count.


SOURCES:

• Lolita David, preschool teacher, Toddler’s Camp
• Valya Telep, Ph.D, child development specialist, Virginia State University
• Building Strong Families Positive Discipline Participant Work Book by Mary Gosche
• How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! by Sal Severe, Ph.D.
• focusonyourchild.com