No parent wants to deal with their kid's tantrums, but it is an inevitable part of raising kids. At some point, you'd really just to put a stop to it as soon as you can. But the easy path isn't usually the best one.
Ideally, you want to prevent a tantrum or intercept an incoming one. Some cues tell you a tantrum may be coming, and all you need to do is adjust. Still, during the times that your child is having a tantrum, how you react to it is crucial.
Mistakes parents do that makes tantrums worse
According to parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions Amy McCready, how parents react to their child's tantrums affects their child. Check if you're making these four crucial mistakes that may fuel your child's tantrum and worsen it.
1. Reasoning with your child
"In the midst of a tantrum, your child is in a state of heightened emotion where the ability to think rationally is furthest from her mind," McCready explained in her website. YOu can reason all you want, but your child is not understanding what you're saying anymore.
Instead, try to remove your child from the situation and let things calm down. Process what he may be feeling instead of dismissing it.
2. Giving in
Once you've set a rule, follow through with it. It's easy to say not to give in but hard to do, especially when you hear all the whining and crying. You think giving in just one time is not so bad. But it is.
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"Giving in now will pave the way for your son to ask the same thing again tomorrow night, and the next, and the next," McCready said. Your child will think he can work his way around your rules and with your permission. So stand your ground as long as your child isn't hurting himself or anyone else.
3. Losing your temper
We've all been there before at least once, yelling or giving a spank at our child's bottoms at our kids just to put an end to a tantrum ASAP. Staying calm is definitely a challenge when your toddler is throwing a fit. (Click here for ways to avoid yelling when you discipline your child.)
Remember, a tantrum is still a power struggle. McCready explains that when you lose your temper and shout or spank, it tells your child that his actions get to you. This gives your child a means to manipulate and get your attention by throwing a tantrum, even if it's negative attention.
4. Bribing your child
Bribing can backfire big time. You don't want your child to think that if they throw a big enough tantrum, then they will get what they want.
There's a fine line between rewards and bribing your child to stop a tantrum. Remember, rewards are earned and usually comes after the desired behavior, while bribing happens in exchange for the desired action.
If you notice, these mistakes can happen in progression. First, you try to reason, then give in. If that doesn't work still, you start yelling and then bribe your child because you feel guilty. Children have a lot to learn about managing emotions , and they're learning first and foremost from their parents. The bucks stop with you.