If there’s one thing parents have in common, it's the constant worrying if they’re doing the right thing when it comes to raising their child. It’s easy to doubt one’s capabilities, especially when EVERYONE has an opinion on parenting, from teaching values to letting kids learn from their mistakes.
Parenthood can feel like it's one stress after another almost on a daily basis — if you're going for perfection. In an article published by Your Tango, life coach T-Anne Pierce notes that “no parent is perfect, but you can be pretty great. Learning how to be a good parent and perfecting your parenting skills requires time, effort, and experience learned from making mistakes and figuring out what to do better next time.”
Parenting can be exhausting and emotionally draining, but Pierce notes that there are personality traits that “will hugely improve your parenting techniques.”
Here are five personality traits you need to ease the pressure of parenting
Learn to forgive
When we’re angry at someone or about something, the day seems gloomy and our heart feels heavy. It’s not easy to forgive and forget, but setting a good example to your children teaches them the value of forgiveness and letting go of ill feelings. On Focus on the Family, Danny Huerta, a licensed clinical social worker, says that “in parenting, the trait of grace and forgiveness is essential for the love of God to shine into your kids’ lives. It gives your family the ability to repair relationships when your imperfections clash. Research shows that choosing forgiveness helps our brains grow in empathy and in our ability to see the positive side of a situation.”
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWWhether you had a misunderstanding with your partner or your child made a mistake, treat it as an opportunity to learn and as a way of teaching kids that they are loved despite making mistakes.
Find the humor
Famous comic actor Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Taking things too seriously and leaving no room for fun and laughter can only make you feel more stressed and exhausted. Pierce says that “one of the easiest parenting tips? Laugh it up! Humor is everything in parenting and in family time.”
Aside from making your kids feel at ease, they see you as someone who is approachable. The Center for Parenting Education notes that “laughter and humor can be very healing, calming, and satisfying parts of life as they can break a tense moment and increase the intimacy between people.”
A word of caution though, there are negative ways to use humor at home that you must avoid like teasing, sarcasm, and derogatory laughter.
Understand fairness
The same Your Tango article underlines the importance of teaching each child as an individual and not “making things equal among siblings. A fair parent does not adapt a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting.” On Patch, child development expert Pam Dyson says, “treating children fairly means you take into account the individual needs of the child.”
For example, just because you bought one child a new bag because his old one can no longer be used doesn’t mean you need to buy your other kids new bags, too. It’s important to be flexible when it comes to addressing the needs of your kids. What works with one doesn’t mean it will apply to your other child.
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Trust your instinct
Striving to become a perfect parent may not only cause you sleepless nights, it can also push you to keep on comparing your parenting style with that of others. Believe in yourself and your capabilities as a parent. According to Positive Parenting Connection, “confidence in parenting doesn’t mean you always know what to say or how to respond. It doesn’t mean that you have all of the answers. And it doesn’t mean that you never become upset or make mistakes.”
It’s important to make your kids feel that you are them for them every step of the way and that you have their best interest in mind always.
Practice consistency
Let’s be honest, it can be difficult to practice consistency given all the things we juggle daily, but Motherly highlights the importance of being consistent in your child’s development. “Emotionally, consistency means purposely choosing how you will engage with or respond to your child…When parents are consistent in their reactions and consequences to their child’s behaviors, children grow up knowing what to expect.”
Being consistent with how you react and converse with your child gives them a sense of security and understanding of how the world works. T-Ann Pierce adds that “parents who consistently enforce boundaries give their kids a framework for success…kids will feel safe and cared for.”
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