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How You Can Raise A Spoiled Child Without Realizing It: 4 Signs According To Experts
  • “You’re so spoiled!” is a line any parent can blurt out of frustration to a child who won’t budge an inch when asked to do something, especially if it is a task so simple. But before you point fingers (even if it’s done out of frustration), maybe it would be a good time to twist that index finger at you and see if you’ve got a role to play.

    Signs you may be spoiling your kids

    That’s what the experts invited by Nido said at the Smart Parenting Masterclass Toddler Expertips. In the webinar titled, “Are we overindulging our kids?” parenting coach Felici Pangilinan-Buizon and Abot Tala (a self-directed learning center) executive director Owie De La Cruz, say self-awareness is an essential skill for parents to know when they are spoiling their children and when it’s time to act on it. Here are the signs you may be indulging your kids too much and how you can correct it:

    1. You want your child to be ‘happy’ all the time.

    Sometimes, parents have to recognize and admit to themselves if they are overindulging their child, says Pangilinan-Buizon. “The tendency of parents is to want the child to be happy all the time, so they protect and shelter them from disappointment.”

    Overparenting can be detrimental for the child, in the long run, she warns. “Because of overparenting, the child is not familiar with failing, and when failure happens to him in the future, he does not react to it positively.

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    2. You don’t know when to say ‘no.’

    “There are parents who tend to overindulge their children by not knowing how to say ‘no,’ thinking that it will not hurt their child in the future,” says Pangilinan Buizon.Her advice is to establish certain limits and apply a ‘modified no’ approach: Parents can give the child what he wants on the condition that he completes something, say a task.

    3. You don’t want another meltdown...in public.

    Who does, right? But the experts say you cannot just give in to make the tantrums stop but, first, you have to understand the root of the tantrum.“When a 2- or 3-year-old has a tantrum, that is because sometimes they are finding it hard to find the words to express what they want, so iiyak na lang. That’s not really a tantrum, that’s part of toddler years,” explains Pangilinan-Buizon. “Better to communicate kaysa patahimikin mo lang through punishment,” she adds.

    On the other hand, if it is a preschooler throwing a tantrum, that may be another matter, Pangilinan-Buizon says. “Maaring manipulation na lang yun because they want you to do something and you’re not doing it. That’s the time you have to put your foot down and show them that you mean what you say,” she advises.

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    4. You let the attitude slide because it’s more ‘convenient.’

    Dela Cruz says that it can be so tempting for parents to give in when a child asks for something. Giving in means less of the drama and all the heavy emotions that come with it.

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    “Life would be so much easier and simpler pag nabigay mo na lahat ng gusto ng bata pero in the long run mas lalaki ang challenges mo,” Dela Cruz warns.

    Parents need to accept that their children will not like them 100% of the time, especially when they are being disciplined. “Siyempre pag pinagbabawalan mo yung kids mo, when you give them specific guidelines, or when you have to say ‘no’ to something they asked for, expect that you’re not going to be the popular parent. That’s okay because they should know this early that they won’t get everything they want from everybody around them all the time, so might as well kayo na magturo nun,” Dela Cruz says.

    Watch the webinar of Smart Parenting Masterclass Toddler Expertips, co-presented by Nido, below.

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