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5 Simple Ways Fathers Can Create A Lasting, Positive Impact On Kids
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  • Fathers play an important role in the development of the whole child. Studies have shown that children with supportive fathers perform better in school.

    As toddlers, these children demonstrate more curiosity and initiative to explore their environment. Such involved fathers are able to provide the safety needs that result to generally happier and confident children.

    At age six onwards, male figures become more essential in the development of young boys. However, being a positive male role model for children in a volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous or VUCA world can be daunting for fathers and other male mentors in this day and age.

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    Nevertheless, exposing children to a wide range of possibilities can help them sharpen the necessary skills in dealing with different kinds of adversities that may come their way.

    As young boys grow older, it becomes more challenging for fathers to connect with them when conditions at home are too rigid. Especially for teens, it is not uncommon for them to prefer to be with their peers.

    Sometimes, fathers express their dissatisfaction for their child’s friends or for their rough attitude causing the latter to be more secretive.

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    The more fathers command, the more adolescents resist to follow. As a result, fathers become frustrated with their kids and become increasingly worried about the behaviors they display. 

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    Even if it seems the lines of communication are disrupted during adolescence, here are some ways fathers can influence their kids positively. 

    5 Ways Dads Can Create A Positive Influence On Tweens

    1. Treat your wives well.

    A father who has a loving relationship with his child’s mother will most likely spend quality time doing things together with the entire family. Spending time together keeps children psychologically and emotionally safe and secure.

    When fathers treat their wives with respect, boys are able to internalize how they should treat women. Moreover, girls with respectful fathers see how they should be treated by men.

    As such, they will easily identify abusive and unhealthy relationships because they have a comparison.

    'When fathers treat their wives with respect, boys are able to internalize how they should treat women. Moreover, girls with respectful fathers see how they should be treated by men.

    2. Practice other love languages.

    When a child does not respond to a certain love language like acts of service, which fathers most likely think to be the best way to show love, experiment on another love language such as quality time or words of affirmation.

    In a survey done with 400 12-year-old boys, quality time ranked first among the five love languages. This requires not only physical presence, but emotional presence as well. So, drop the phone and be at the moment.

    RELATED: Do You Feel Like You Have a Whiny Kid? Your Phone May Be to Blame

    3. Ask questions to show interest.

    Many times, kids dislike being probed because the questions sound more like an interrogation. For fear of being judged or scolded, they ignore their parents, if not answer back.

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    It would be best to keep conversations light and to be clear about the intention for asking questions.

    Fathers might end up surprised to realize that they know little about their child’s interest. Do you know the names of your child’s best buddies, their best achievements the past year, what causes them to lose sleep, what their prized possessions are, what games they play online, etc.?

    4. Don’t stop playing.

    Dads grow old because they stop playing. When fathers spend time to play with their child, be it online games or a shared sport, they convey the message, “I love you; I am here for you; Your happiness is important to me.”

    Kids feel that they are valued and that what they like doing the most is something that their fathers understand and take delight in as well. 

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    5. Get your house in order.

    When you take care of your house, you let people in it know unconsciously that you care about their needs. Fixing a broken door knob or changing a light bulb may be simple things, but doing so keeps everyone in the household grateful for having a very responsive and dependable Dad. 

    Fostering a positive relationship with each family member may require a lot of work and sacrifice, but the rewards are forming children who become emotionally secure, confident, and have better connections with others as they grow older. 

    Dr. Gail Reyes Galang is chair of the Family Studies program of Miriam College where she also teaches under the Department of Psychology. She is currently the associate director of the Center for Peace Education. Follow her on Instagram @gailfrancesgalang

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