Mom on a Mission: The Joys and Pains of Breastfeeding

When I was pregnant with now four-month-old Natalia, I was obsessed with two things: chocolate cake and breastfeeding. The former, I believe, needs no explanation –any pregnant woman with a hankering for sweets would understand. But breastfeeding?


Young mom, clueless mom
One of my biggest regrets is not having been able to breastfeed my firstborn Manolo. Like any anxiety-ridden first-time mom, I was young and didn’t know better. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know–and no one had told me–that my milk wasn’t going to come in for at least two days after giving birth, or that I actually had colostrums to give. I didn’t think he’d be fine just sucking at my nipple the first couple of days and that he wouldn’t die from hunger. It didn’t help that he didn’t take to my breast immediately, or that the breast pump didn’t seem to work. And then there were the lolas, who were even more panic-stricken than I was. This was seven years ago, when breastfeeding support groups, nursing stations at malls, and all imaginable breast pumps were totally alien notions.


Mom on a mission
And so it became almost a mission –an obsession, really –that I would do anything humanly possible to make sure I breastfeed my second child. I did my research: I read all the information Google would supply, and I bookmarked all the pertinent sites. I asked around for the best pump, ordered it online, and shelled out quite a sum for it. I got the contact information of a breastfeeding support group, Latch. I found a pediatrician who closely advocated breastfeeding. When I was wheeled in to my hospital room after 12 hours of labor and delivery, I requested for Natalia to room-in with me. I was exhausted, yes, but the physical fatigue melted away when Natalia found my breast. We were skin-to skin the whole time I was checked in.

 

Click here to read more about Vicky's story breastfeeding.

[previous|page|next]

Read on to learn more about Vicky's story breastfeeding.

 

My crazed determination served me well as breastfeeding the first two months was the biggest challenge motherhood ever presented me. Natalia nursed non-stop, and she didn’t latch on well most times. My nipples were sore and cracked, and they bled. No sooner had they stopped becoming sore, Natalia would ask to feed again. I would cry in the middle of the night. I did contact the support group; I asked my pedia to correct Natalia’s latch-on, and my husband Marc was a great help, but I was still under so much pain. But like I said, I was mom on a mission.


Making Progress
Eventually, my nipples healed, I learned the proper latch-on techniques, and Natalia started feeding like a pro. Breastfeeding became an almost innate skill. Natalia and I found our rhythm and, to this day, we blissfully stare at each other while she nurses. Natalia is a smiley baby, and even when feeding, she’d crack a smile –and this toothless grin would send me to the heavens! It’s almost like we commune when she’s at my breast, and I guess on many different levels, we really do.


Becoming Immune to the Pain
Looking back, I think the person who really helped me through my initial ordeal with breastfeeding was Natalia herself. She persisted as much as I did. She learned while I also did. And those eyes, those smiles, and that sound she makes when she’s contentedly feeding.. you literally become immune to the pain.


Immeasurable Joy
I don’t think I need to expound on the health and financial benefits of breastfeeding. There are enough books and websites for that. Besides, I am no voice of expertise. But what I do know is this: breastfeeding takes an enormous amount of dedication and sacrifice. Your life –and your schedule –will be turned upside down. On weekdays, I fix my schedule around what I call my “breast pumping hours”; this means I can never be somewhere without access to my breast pump for more than three hours. I lug my breast pump around whenever I go, even as, for a fashion magazine editor, this machine –though cleverly concealed in a bag –doesn’t exactly make for a great accessory. On weekends, Natalia nurses as often as she wants. Most times, she asks for my breast and doesn’t really feed. And I don’t really mind. This constant togetherness has become my “happy place” –and I genuinely believe it’s become Natalia’s too.

 

Click here to learn more about Vicky's story breastfeeding.

[previous|page|next]

Read on to learn more about Vicky's story breastfeeding.

 

The joy that breastfeeding brings me is immeasurable. I do consider it as an accomplishment, but I wouldn’t go as far as say that it has completed my experience as a mother. Or that I’m a better mom because of it. I didn’t breastfeed Manolo, but I am the same mother to my son as I am to my daughter.

Breastfeeding doesn’t define you as a mother, let me be clear about that, but it offers you an experience like no other. When I offer my breast to Natalia, I am not just giving her nourishment. I am giving her what I really do believe is best for her –and doesn’t every mother strive for that?

 

Photo from flickr.com